Czar, sorry you're in the shit. The not-wanting-to-live thing is just a cruel trick of brain chemistry gone wrong. For some reason, it is comforting to me to ponder that all depression is really just bad brain chemistry, and when it's fixed, that it is your brain chemistry that got fixed too. Even when it is situational (ie: dog left you, wife peed on the bed, kid dresses like a vampire), it is still your brain responding badly to the triggers. I guess I find that comforting because it make it clear that you can both a) ride it out, and b) possibly out-think-it, at least to survive.
Unless you're a child molester, serial killer, or a republican , nobody is better off with you gone. Stick around, the Onion needs a religious editor!