JW, WatchTower Society, Alcoholism, and Recovery

by BrendaCloutier 14 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  BrendaCloutier

  I left the borg in about 1979 of my own accord after having my eyes opened (and experiencing) the hypocrisies around me.

  In 1982 I sucessfully left my JW husband, who devloped alcoholism, and became a wife-beater when he could no longer control me. The elders in the congregation (I married into) told me I was to subject myself to my husband, and his justice.

  Beginning in 1987, I realized my own drinking problem was alcoholism, and I successfully got clean and sober in 1990.

  Attending that first meeting, on a summer Sunday evening in 1987 was shear hell for me. It was in the basement of a Baptist church! I just knew I would be struck down by lightening. And then they prayed! I discovered, to my own embarrasment, that I did not know, nor could I recite The Lord's Prayer, of which JW's are tought is the correct way to pray.

  I'm wondering if there are any other ex-JW's out there who are dealing with alcoholism.

  I'm also curious what the JW current attitude is on alcoholism.

  When my dad, who is an elder from way back, and a diabetic, told me that my alcoholism was my own morale debasement, I lovingly explained to him that my body does not process alcohol normally, just as his body does not process sugar normally. It was the first time in my life that I saw him speachless. He was also thoughtful. Who knows, maybe he actually learned something?

  Hugs and blessings on your journeys.

  Brenda
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  wednesday

  hello Brenda, welcome to the obard. i have read several of your posts today.

  alcoholism. is very common among JWS. My father was an alcoholic. he never sought treatment, but finally in his later years just stopped drinking of his own acord. One of my sons inherited this tendancy, and won over it through AA. I myself tend to have an addictive personality, so i watch it carefully. I do not know if the WT has changed it's feelings or if it was just a local thing, but generally they did to aprove of AA , saying it was a religion.

  but many jws are immoderate users of alcohol.
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  gumby

  Hi Brenda,

  Not much slack is given to dub alcoholics. If a dub is on restrictions and he/she slips......they remain on restrictions untill their slate is squeeky clean for some time. They feel their is no excuss for ANYONE, to not being able to refrain from booze if they are an alcoholic, the same way they feel a gay person should be able to control their sexual urges. regardless if they are gay. They will never admit that some peoples chemistries, work different than others that make them prone to "vices" ( as it's well known for), or they'll have to throw the bible out the window.

  BTW...welcome to JWD!

  Gumby
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  BrendaCloutier

  Thanx Gumby and others who have welcomed me.

  There are views shared here that I have come to, through my own work. And I'm glad to see it. There wasn't a support network when I got "real", but I was able to do much healing with my AA recovery work.

  There is probably about the same number of alcoholics in JW's as in the average populace - about 10%. That, I've heard, is the average occurance of homosexuality, and I'm sure it's probably the same amoung JW's.

  Gotta get dinner. Hugs

  Bren
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  willyloman

  Brenda: Welcome to the board. I left the truth after 30 years, more than 20 as a elder; I was conducting the Watchtower study when I left; in the last year I've managed to help my entire family escape the WTS.

  I had doubts and nagging questions for many years, but stuffed them. It was only when I attended a lecture on alcholism and recovery that I began to think maybe I was drinking too much, so as an experiment I quite for 60 days. At the end of that time I had experienced some mild withdrawal symptoms, but more importantly I felt so much better physically that I decided to extend my non-drinking to three months, then to six. That was five years ago and I'm still sober. After a while, my thinking faculties started to kick in and I became much more critical in my thinking. I started entertaining all those questions and doubts that had plagued me for years and this time I sat with the thoughts long enough to get answers and make some decisions. It was the beginning of the way out for me.

  Since then, I have attended numerous lectures at a local alcoholism recovery center and done a lot of reading. My voyage of discovery has taught me that I have, at the very least, an addictive personality and that the alcoholism of both parents probably predisposes me to the same disease. So I don't drink anymore, and I'm a lot happier. I stopped medicating myself with a couple of cocktails daily and once I stopped that, I could no longer in good conscience sit through judical committee hearings, elder's meetings, and then eventually any kind of JW meeting or assembly altogether. I refused to be judgmental and withhold unconditional love. So I resigned my position and faded away, chosing to fade rather than exit with a bang so I could help my family reach the same conclusions I did. My family has responded beautifully. I am pretty sure my not drinking, and the resultant change in personality, had a lot to do with their willingness to listen.

  Recently, I've been spending time listening to a tape by Leo Booth, a minister and former catholic priest (his web site is fatherleo.com). The tape is on overcoming religious abuse and addiction. He's a recovering alcoholic and a counselor and has seen lots of similarities between people who abused or were abused by their religion and those who abused alcohol or drug use. He applies some of the 12 steps of recovery to the process of getting over the guilt and conflicted feelings people have when they leave an abusive religious organization like the JWs, and it is remarkable how well the recovery steps fit perfectly with a person's emotional needs.

  Good luck to you on your own journey, and spend some time here -- you will learn things.
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  gumby

  in the last year I've managed to help my entire family escape the WTS.

  Willyloman.....your one of the lucky ones.

  I also want to thank you for clarifying that abuses CAN be overcome as my post didn't qualify. My point was, the society gives little space on recovery of those stricken with vices that are deep seated. They give little creedence to AA and any other worldly recovery group. Their emphasis is on prayer and study to overcome serious sins.

  Gumby
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  new light

  I am someone who is prone to problem drinking if left unchecked, so alcohol(ism) is something I have been observing for a while now. It seemed to me that it was frowned upon among JWs to discuss anything resembling a drinking problem. Either you had it completely under control or you were facing a group of elders. There did not seem to be a sense of personal responsibility, but instead that fuzzy feeling that God would make everything all better. I always got funny looks if I mentioned that I was cutting back or that I thought I might have a problem...and these were from middle-aged elders and their wives. No one has a drinking problem in the JWs, for the same reason that pedophilia is covered up... the group's reputation is more important than individual needs. A drinking problem, in my experience with JWs, is only dealt with when it causes a public embarrassment...an arrest for DWI or innappropriate conduct at a large JW gathering (can't we call it a party now since everyone is having fun?). These are the experiences I had in an especially "cordial" congregation, where all the elders liked to cut loose. I can remember leaving more than one JW party completely rocked, to the point of double vision and beyond, yet I did not drink any more than anyone else. And there was no mention of any excess at the meeting the next morning. I am not sure if this congregation was the exception rather than the rule, but that is the way they operated. Incidentally, it was a combination of extended sobriety (clear judgement) and websites like this one and Freeminds that led me to freedom. Alcohol leads to JWism, at least if you are an Ex. It dulls your spiritual sense while making you sentimental and emotional, so watch out. I know many JWs who are the most devoted to their faith while in the throes of episodic drinking.
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  TallTexan

  Alcoholism? How else do you deal w/ being a JW?? Plus, it's the only 'vice' that's even remotely allowed, so of COURSE it's going to be done to excess....
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  willyloman

  New light: wow, great post, really resonates with me.

  I always got funny looks if I mentioned that I was cutting back or that I thought I might have a problem...and these were from middle-aged elders and their wives. No one has a drinking problem in the JWs, for the same reason that pedophilia is covered up... the group's reputation is more important than individual needs. A drinking problem, in my experience with JWs, is only dealt with when it causes a public embarrassment...

  One of my "best friends" of 30 years, a fellow elder and frequent "social drinker" like myself, was extremely uncomfortable when I quit drinking. One night at dinner and wine, he looked at me and sighed. "You mean, you don't drink ANYTHING? EVER?" Then he shook his head and changed the subject. I got similar reactions from other "brothers," but no invitation to discuss it. They preferred, I think, to write it off as a phase I was going through. You are absolutely right in suggesting that self medication with alcohol is the official JW "dirty little secret."

  And there was no mention of any excess at the meeting the next morning. I am not sure if this congregation was the exception rather than the rule, but that is the way they operated.

  I don't think this was an exception. I've been in several congos and have seen this pattern everywhere. Dubs have to do SOMETHING to chase away those disquieting feelings that come with living with full time cognitive dissonance. Elders, especially, are called upon to perform so many "icky" tasks that their consciences need to be salved, and what better balm than booze?

  Incidentally, it was a combination of extended sobriety (clear judgement) and websites like this one and Freeminds that led me to freedom. Alcohol ...dulls your spiritual sense while making you sentimental and emotional...

  My point, exactly! Thanks for sharing, new light. Good luck on your journey.
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  codeblue

  Welcome to the board Brenda!!!

  Also, thanks for sharing your experiences!!!

  As far as JW's and alcohol....I think the problem is huge........like others stated, it is the only "legal" thing they can do. Some KH's are known for "partying"...lol

  Looking forward to more of your posts!

  Codeblue