(((((Talesin)))))
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. I haven't got much to add in the way of advice, but I CAN send my love and my hopes that you will continue to be at her side as a comfort for her.
The fact that you have already had the chance to be there with her is great! There should be NO reason that you shouldn't be there other than hospital rules---not JW ones. Family members can be extremely cruel. When one Grandmother died---my Mother sent the clipping from the obituary in the paper---and that was all. I never knew she was sick or in the hospital. No chance to send a card or flowers, or attend the calling hours.
When my other Grandmother died, I got a letter to her sent back from her Nursing home (I had been writing to her about once a month for YEARS, and always visited her when I was in MA) and I thought it was a mistake that said she was "deceased". She had passed two weeks before......and again, I had no knowledge of it and couldn't send flowers, etc.
My Mother died two and a half years ago, and my cousin called me that same night, but my Father had told her that I was not welcome at the funeral. My parents hadn't been civil to me since I was baptized as a JW in 1972. They finally stopped speaking or writing to me after 1974 when we moved to NY---they said I had "broken the family up" by moving with my husband and five kids---whatever. I knew it was an excuse (in their minds) to blame me for being a JW.
They never acknowledged my letters of apology for my mistake of being baptized, so I know how nasty some "loving" family members can be! Despite your turmoil and having to face whatever jerks you have to face at the hospital---at least you got to BE with your Mom----and I'm soooo glad it worked out for you!
I know you're bogged down right now---probably physically and emotionally---but please feel free to PM me ANY TIME if you want to scream-holler-vent-cry-or throw a tantrum.....I have strong shoulders and a lot of tea! (As you can see-I keep it right next to me!)
Sending along big hugs for you and your Mom,
Annie