JW's And Risque Mnemonics.

by Englishman 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  Englishman

  Do folk in the United States use mnemonics as we do here in the UK?

  Just in case you’re wondering, a mnemonic is a method by which it becomes easy to remember something, especially if it involves a table or sequence. Most UK mnemonics have a vulgar or sexual connotation, so their use is somewhat frowned upon in JW circles.

  When number 2 son was studying geology, it was essential that he remembered the hardness order of various minerals. He had to remember, in the correct order, that the right sequence was: Talc, gypsum, calcium, fluorite, apatite, orthoclase-feldspar, quartz, topaz, corundum and diamond. So as to never forget this, his lecturer gave him the mnemonic: “The Girls Can Flirt And Other Queer Things Can Do”

  Now my JW mum is somewhat prudish, and hates mnemonics, saying that they are “Vulgar and suggestive”. It was therefore very enjoyable to my ears when she found herself stumped at the daily crossword because she couldn’t recall the correct order in which the planets are in relation to the Sun. You’ve guessed it, I had a mnemonic!

  I rattled off Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto, and yes, she was impressed. She was even more impressed when I told her that I had recalled the planets order from the Sun by using a mnemonic that was totally free of any sexual or vulgar references whatsoever. I told her the mnemonic phrase which was : “My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets”.

  Unfortunately, when I explained the mnemonic, everything fell apart, and she became convinced once more that all mnemonics were certainly not for use by discerning witnesses. Here’s how I explained it, see if you can spot the point at which the old “dub curtain” descended:

  My – Mercury.

  Very – Venus.

  Easy – Earth.

  Method – Mars.

  Just – Jupiter.

  Speeds – Saturn.

  Up – Uranus.

  Naming – Neptune.

  Planets – Pluto.

  Only when I went through the list for the third time did I realise why mother was holding her hand to her mouth in horror. Do you think that she believed that I had not intended to offend her? No way! One more proof that all ex-witnesses have nothing sex and depravity in their hearts!

  Englishman.

  ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.
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  Seeker

  Imagine telling dear old mum to speed Saturn up her anus! No wonder she was shocked.

  If only those astronomers weren't such sex-mad perverts in the first place...
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  Skimmer

  Stars can be classified by their spectra, and astronomers have divided these into letter groups. Alas, it was not done alphabetically, so someone came up with a spelling mnemonic for the sequence O B A F G K M R N S:

  "Oh, be a fine girl, kiss me right now sweetie."

  Our local star is a G class in the hotter to cooler list given above.
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  ozziepost

  OK, here's one I remember from my schooldays: Richard of York Gains Battles in Vain"

  Guess what it stands for? Very useful in science.

  Cheers,
  Ozzie

  "Truth persuades by teaching, but does not teach by persuading."
  TERTULLIAN, Adversus Valentinianos
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  Lindy

  Use stuff like this in college to memorize stuff for tests. It works.
  Lindy
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  Hojon

  It's the colors in the spectrum-

  Red,Orange,Yellow,Green,Blue,Violet
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  joelbear

  ROY G BIV was easier for me to remember as far as spectrum colors

  I also had APE SLAG for memorizing the 7 deadly sins.

  None of these seem very risque though.

  joel
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  Englishman

  I used to get letters with NORWICH written on the envelope flap, never found out what it meant though.

  Englishman.

  ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.
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  LDH

  How about this one from Second Grade music class? Where's TR?!?!?

  "Every good boy deserves fudge"
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  Had Enough

  Yes LDH:

  "Every good boy deserves fudge" are the names of the line notes in the treble clef and the spaces spell "FACE".

  And for the bass clef its: "Good Boys Do Fine Always" for the lines and "All Cows Eat Grass" for the spaces. My little female music pupil doesn't like the gender preference, so I said I'd come up with one for girls to remember their line notes.

  The one I liked too was for the succession of Major Key Signatures from having 1 sharp to all 7 sharps as: "Father Charles Goes Down And Ends Battle".

  Well that's my music contribution for today.

  Had Enough

  BTW: Englishman---sorry, but I don't know any vulgar or sexual mnemonics for you, just my little schoolgirl ones.