Looking for some advice...

by NKyGuy 35 Replies latest jw experiences

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  NKyGuy

  I have been inactive for the past 5 years or so. I just could not bring myself to sit through meeting after meeting of the same thing any longer.

  However, my wife and children are still regular and as such are preparing to go to the District Convention next month.

  For the past 4 years I have been able to avoid going to it with commitments to work, etc. Unfortunately this year it is not the case and my wife has made it very clear that she expects me to go with her.

  How do I express to her that I don't want to spend 3 days of my life in uncomfortable clothing, sitting in a hot arena, listening to information that makes me want to stab pencils into my ears? And to do this without upsetting her unneccessarily?

  Any recommendations are welcome.

  Love and Peace

  NKyGuy
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  kls

  There really is no wrong or right way to explain that you no longer believe what she believes. When i told my husband i felt something was wrong with this religion and i did not want to be apart of the org. oh man , you would have thought satan just sat next to him, the look on his face of discust was unreal . Life with him has been pretty bad ever since and this is over twenty yrs ago.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  Doubtfully Yours

  How about just nonchalantly informing her that "honey, I won't be attending this year's DC. Please make your arrangements accordingly."

  Do it just a week before the convention. That way she won't have a whole lot of time to seek the elders and other people on you. The week prior everybody is very rushed doing last minute things before they go away for those 3/4 days.

  DY
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  NKyGuy

  I suppose that is an option, I am just not sure if I am prepared for the shit-storm to follow immediately after.

  I suppose in some ways I just get really tired of all the guilt. She is constantly saying that it is so hard to do everything alone.

  While I know that she is just attempting to guilt me into going to meetings and what not, I just can't bring myself to sit there and listen to it for hours on end. At the same time I am not sure I can sit there and listen to the constant complaining leading up to the convention either.
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  kls

  Well NKYGUY, mind as well get it over sooner then later , either way it ain't gonna be easy.
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  Yerusalyim

  You can do it, you just can't do it without pissing her off....Sorry.
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  shamus

  I, personally, went through hell every DC or CA. Not because of the sheer drudgery but because of the fear of large crowds. It was all that I could bear!

  You either need to tell her the truth about how you feel, or lie. The truth is better, but if you said what you really feel about the dubs, you would probably find yourself in front of a judicail kangaroo court.

  Although I informed persons that sometimes I just couldn't bring myself to go, because I would just panic and run out, they still thought that I was eeeevil. Nice support, no? (I still suffer from this to this day, BTW) Apperantly, I wasn't relying on god enough and was weak in faith. If you want to lie, that excuse can work... but the truth usually works better.

  There are no easy answers, unfortunately. You will be a 'pagan' if you don't go. If you're smart, you will hold your ground.

  Good luck in your decision, and welcome to the board.
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  jgnat

  Do you want to do it sneaky or directly? Both have their own consequences.

  ...or you could go to the convention and do your own thing. Don't sit with people you know. Bring a notepad, laptop computer, and a good book. I find the droning sameness of these meetings to be as good as white noise, and a great place to come up with creative ideas.

  She might be embarrassed in to allowing you to stay home next time.
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  frenchbabyface

  or you could go to the convention and do your own thing. Don't sit with people you know. Bring a notepad, laptop computer, and a good book. I find the droning sameness of these meetings to be as good as white noise, and a great place to come up with creative ideas.

  She might be embarrassed in to allowing you to stay home next time.

  You know what Ggnat, I've found your idea quiet SMART ... (there will be still talkings and arguments ... oh well then maybe he just can say that he is Bipolar !) Sorry it's not funny
• 

  Joe Bloggs

  Welcome, NKyGuy!

  Why did you become inactive? Was it just because you were getting bored or have you researched Watchtower and uncovered all the lies, deceit and utter nonsense that it is? If it is because of the former reason then you will not (in her eyes) have any real defence. However, if you have in fact done your research, then you need to explain why you can no longer take Watchtower seriously. In return, she should respect your point of view. After all, you have been instructed by Watchtower to "examine any religion that you are associated with" and that "it is not religious persecution to expose a religion that is false"

  Take care,

  Joe