I miss my friends

by seattleniceguy 20 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  seattleniceguy

  I saw a movie tonight and came home thinking about a couple old friends who are still Witnesses. I miss them something awful. I needed to write, so I wrote in my journal for a while, but I really felt the need to write them directly. So I sent them an email tonight. Thinking back over the experiences we shared, it made me cry. I wish they could understand what terrible pain was involved in leaving that organization.

  I hope for a response but I fear that I will get a form reply. I remember how difficult it was to show compassion for people as a Witness. Indeed, I was adept at cutting off human emotion when confronting the problem of my disassociated father while I was a Witness. I know how automatic it is to hide behind the shield and give the standard reply: "We love you too but you have chosen not to support Jehovah and his Kingdom." Yes, that's true, but in the same way that I have chosen not to support Santa and his Elfdom - not because I stand opposed to it but simply because I cannot believe that it is real! Why would God give us a brain and then punish us for using it as honestly as we know how?

  I wish it were possible to convey this in a way people could understand. But alas for the night! It is not to be, at least not tonight.

  SNG
• 

  seeitallclearlynow

  I'm sorry Seattleniceguy, it is difficult when those feelings crop up and most of us here are dealing with the same effects after separating ourselves from the organization.

  I wish there was something to say that would make it feel better but I have nothing.

  Best wishes to you! You know you have friends here. But special friends are not just "replaced" by others, I know.
• 

  LittleToe

  I sympathise with you.

  I sometimes have days like that, too. Then I think of the friendships I've gained, ones I've recovered (like with Bull01Lay) and family that dont judge me, like my lovely little sister, with her wonderful son.

  On balance, I like the new relationships far more than the ones I've left behind. Further, my door is always open, for if they ever decide they want me back in their lives.
• 

  frenchbabyface

  (((SNG)))
• 

  Undecided

  Almost all the ones I knew as friends in the JW religion are dead now. When you get my age there are so many people you know dying. Last week there were three people I knew who died on the same day. It gets scary sometimes.

  Ken P.
• 

  seeitallclearlynow

  Hi (((Ken)))

  3 people in one day, lost in death? I'm sorry to hear that!

  Hope you're doing well!
• 

  Sassy

  I understand where you are coming from SNG. Not long ago I emailed with my old best friend. I broke down and tried to share with her some of my doubts, hoping I could free her too from the dub box.........I failed and only incited her to speak to my mom about my possible apostaship...

  we want to help them, but as we know with ourselves, it only happens when we are ready.. I hope your friends have an honest heart and read your emails w/o blindly responding.
• 

  StinkyPantz

  ((SNG))

  I understand how you feel.
• 

  confusedjw

  I wish they could understand what terrible pain was involved in leaving that organization.

  I'm sorry dude. WE do understand.

  I think it's like someone dieing and it hurts so much and time goes by and each month it's a tad less pain.
• 

  seattleniceguy

  Thanks, guys. I realize now that when I left last year, I understood that I needed to do it regardless of the pain, and so to some extent I didn't feel it. The various euphorias of new discovery and shocks relating to how the Witnesses reacted dampened the pure emotional reaction for a long time...until now, it would seem.

  Thanks for writing back. Means a lot to me.

  SNG