by Sassy 16 Replies latest jw friends
Sassy-
maybe being a good friend.. a friend one likes to have is one without so many expecatations??
I agree. I once had a friend who expected me to consider his advice gospel. It was a personal afront to him, for me to make my own decisions. I wasn't the type of friend he'd like to have.. I think he wanted followers and not friends.
I too sometimes expect more from my friends than they want to give, or should have to give. I can be quite needy at times and that drives plenty of people nuts.
Sassy, I love that song by Tim McGraw, the writing is superb. Needless to say the singer ain't so bad himself..... He is my favorite country singer and I just like to lust after him!!!!!!!!
OK, now back to the question you asked.....hehe. I think I am a very good listener, I do put myself out for my friends, but there are some areas I know I hold back on . I am working on being a better friend, I mean in giving of myself, the deepest parts to a friend, sharing myself.
I can understand alot of what Sheila is saying,,,,, I too don't always show all of my deepest feelings, fears , emotions in friendships. It is hard for me to truly open up on alot of my feelings because of fear. Fear of loss. Fear of someone knowing my weak spots so to speak.
I met a lady here in my hometown back in Jan. of this year, she was running her own little bar and we just hit it off. Our friendship grew , we started hanging out at each others houses, going places and hundreds of phone calls. She taught me that I CAN trust someone, that I WONT be burned , or hurt. It was hard , almost exhausting to try so hard to keep my fences up and I slowly let her in more and more. I am so grateful that I did, because I have a very special close friend now.
Part of my worries were if I made a friend, they would move away, as that happened so much in the little rural congregation we used to be in,,,,people coming in your life and going all the time.
Well,,,,,,,this lady in town , my best friend had to move back to Texas. I said to myself,,,,,,,,,see you love someone, you enjoy their company and then this happens ....AGAIN!! But ,,,,,,I didnt let myself entertain that thought for too long,,,,yeah it is bad luck I guess, but not just for me , she hurts over it too. We are still great friends, we still talk all the time,,,,,we just are not in the same town. Even thou, it broke our hearts when she had to leave, I am grateful for her friendship and for her teaching me , how much I was missing by not cultivating deep friendships.
Ya know,,,,,,, there are so many here , that I need to keep better in touch with as well.
Thanks Sassy for reminding me how wonderful and precious our friendships are to us.
((((((((Sassy))))))), Dede
i am to a friend, a friend you can count on without having to think a second thought.
yes and no. I try really hard to be a good person, but sometimes I get very anti-social and would be content to never even talk to anyone until the breaking point of utter lonliness...so I would need a friend to counter that, that was high-energy and social and willing to put up with me and drag me to places to hang out with them.
It is also very hard to have friends now because Mike and I have a could mutual friends but not many reliable ones. If I made a girl friend (which I realllyyy neeeeedddd gaaaahh men some times!) he will sometimes get jelous which makes it difficult to maintain friendships. :(
PS: He is not trying to control me, I would get jelous too. I just "feel bad" and then it causes me to stay away from budding relationships.
((((((((Lyin)))))))))))) I'm sorry your friend moved. That is a fear of mine......it is exhausting keeping those guards up.
Your right about Sassy causing us to think about what great friends we have made here THANK YOU Sassy and Thanks Simon
I remember having a fight with my first husband because he felt that I went above and beyond for my friends.. if I was worried about a friend and had to sit on their doorstep till they got home to make sure they were ok (figuratively) I would do that.. he'd be pissed because his dinner might be late because I was entending myself for a friend...
I actually canceled a wedding because a brother decided that I could make new friends.. one he picked.. it came down to him or them.. I picked my friends.. ironic though they are all out of my life now.. lol..
what do we want in a friend? someone who listens to use when we need to cry or vent? laugh and celebrate life with us..............
and sometimes just understand when we are off the wall.. because they know us better than perhaps we know ourselves
A friend will tell you what you need to hear not just what you want to hear. A friend will ask you to explain some thing they noticed and give you the benefit of the doubt. They would believe in their heart they misunderstood any perceived bad intention on your part. A friend will leave you alone when you need space but never leave your side when you need comfort. A friend will cheer your good fortune without jealousy, and be loyal and defend you when others try to hurt you. A friend who knows you are inperfect but sees past it to all you offer. This is what being a friend means to me. Mav
