by jgnat 27 Replies latest jw friends
Kate, because I believe part of who we become is because of our history, I don't hide my past. I have pictures of my ex-husband, I don't pretend it never happened. I reminisce for a moment, and remember, and know I am better today because of all that went before.
I think mature love is round, full, and can bear the storms of life. Because now we know we will survive.
I was talking to the neighbor down the street tonight. She's angry because one of her husband's high school girlfriends has been calling him and writing him. I asked her if she trusted him, she said yes, but she was worried about the woman: wondering what she was up to now that she was single after two bad marriages, all of a sudden talking to her husband. I said she probably is fond of him and just wants to reconnect, not for love, but just wondering what happened to him and to see if he was happy.
The neighbor then asked me if I would be mad if one of my husband's old girlfriends called and tried to "connect" after all these years. I said "He doesn't have any old girlfriends, I was his first." I am his first and best love.
Thank heaven no old ghosts will be clanking their chains around here. Silence is golden.
Country Girl
Edited to add: I've told him if, after I'm gone, he sees a pair of glasses and a cigarette floating in midair, I've come back to haunt him. He is quite sure that I will. <grin>
Beautifully told jgnat. Mr. Zinsser would be proud.
I carry with me four ghost; easily two too many considering how few real relationships I've been in. They are not burdensome though, not in the least, and all bring a smile to me during possesions.
That is not to say however, that the deaths that brought about my hauntings were not painful. And so I am made a very cautious man; a man who very much wants to experience a fifth love, but can not bear the makings of a fifth ghost.
I still love my 2 ex'S : Just not the same way as before. And I must say even if our story would allow me to just kick them out of my heart !!! ... but there was a reason I've been attached to those persone, and thoses reasons stick in my heart.
I think that the reason why we are not in touch anymore is more related to the fact that they went too far on some matters and that they feel bad about it ... Anyway I don't need them to be around / why especially ? ... I would be just happy to know that they are happy ... we were just no made to be together more than we've been together.
WOW- THANK YOU Jgnat !!!! Very well articulated !!
Ain't it great traveling this part of the road?
jgnat
Your post is truly beautiful. Thank you.
I am not jealous of his ghosts, I indulge his memories. Those ghosts remind me I have myself a sensitive and caring man. If he were ever so stupid to let me go, I know a part of me will be with him forever.
I think it is entirely possible to feel love for those who you have left behind. No one should feel guilty about that because I believe, as you said, this shows that the individual is sensitive and caring. Those whose hearts are cold toward past lovers probably never truly loved in the first place.
I hope that as I grow older, I can always approach things as maturely as you obviously do. Sometimes the green monster lures it's head; sometimes we play games of proving our worth. All of those things are unnecessary and your post is a lovely reminder of that.
Sirona
Beautifully worded jgnat...and equally perceptive, Sirona !!!!
mac
jgnat:
Beautiful.
Satanus:
Indulge me, as i am mostly a stranger to love.
Ah, my friend, surely not. For when one has removed all attachments, one is free to love completely, with abandon...
Mav:
Unusually sensitive. Well put!
Sirona:So very true.
It's perhaps not greatly acknowledged, but there are a great number of types of "men", hence few can fall into a stereotype.
Do any of us truly forget our past, and those who touched our soul?
I only bid that such memories be pleasant...
jgnat,
That was sooo beautiful. I loved it. It'sgreat that you can embrace his past loves. The past makes us what we are today.
Thanks for sharing that with us.
Lehaa
Well written. Excelent visual.
I think though that men fear those ghosts more than women.
Thunder
