by JH 11 Replies latest jw friends
Sometimes, the only way to forget about the witnesses and that religion is to move away and not see them anymore. But sometimes it's impossible to move, because of your job or family, so you're stuck to face them once in a while.
I was just wondering if many of you moved away after leaving the JW's and if that helped you, or would you just stay where you are and face them?
i wouldn't, because i never seen it as an issue, but one of my relatives did something similar, he moved to another city and now doesn't want to live where he grew up as a jw.
I did move away but it wasn't to avoid JWs. However, not being around the town I lived in and not running into them is very nice. If JWs come to my door they don't know me from Adam. It's nice. I like it.
Flyin'
I was offered a job and that was why I moved away. However, getting away from the witnesses was a factor that I did consider when I made the decision.
My parents continued to hound me by phone and letter, though, to go back to the hell, er, I mean hall. I complied a few times and even studied. But for some reason, after a a couple of studies, the young sister never came back. I wonder why? Heheheheheheheeee.
We stayed where we were, including being next-door-but-one neighbors to the Service Overseer. Few talk to us, but now it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not sure you can move totally away - who knows who'll you'll come in contact with. I think the best best is to rid yourself of the emotions. Live a great life!
About 2-3 years after I decided to give up on the JWs, my company moved me hundreds of miles away. Outside of family, I wasn't being hounded by them in the first place. My brother quit about the same time I did and lives about 20 miles away from our old hall and never gets hounded. He even hired contractors to work on his house and it ended up being 2 elders from our old hall. I don't think that even sparked anything.
One thing to note is we both live outside of the KH's territory, outside of their circuit, and outside of their district (even my brother who's only 20 miles away). As I covered in another post, we may have managed to leave with some confusion as to whether we were going to other halls or not. And, we knew enough about the judicial process and elder inquiries to stay out of trouble when questioned about drinking and other things that went on in the KH. I got the sense they knew we were lying, but couldn't prove it. So, maybe they felt pushing us on what we believe/don't believe wasn't worth the effort because they knew they'd just hear what they wanted to from us. Maybe when we left (early '90s), policy wasn't to hound people down. Who knows why we haven't been hounded?
But I can tell you, it is great living in a city where no JW knows what you are/were. When JWs come calling, you can ask them questions that will make their heads spin and watch their wheels turn. You can even get into debates with elders and make them look stupid. You can openly question their academics and knowledge. You can do and say things you wouldn't dare as a JW because of not showing respect for "God's arrangement". When was the last time you could openly question the JW religion and press an elder for answers he know he cannot give out loud and see him squirm? I tell you, it's soooo therapeutic to watch an elder squirm for a change!
I wanted to add that facing them could lead to DA or DF. Depending on your ties to people inside the religion (family, friends, or business associates), that could cause some major pain in your life.
When I faded, I never confronted them and as a result, still see my family regularily and I'm welcomed by them. You can read plenty of examples where being DA or DF has ruined these relationships. If I had been confronted, I would have told them something that made them feel I still believed, but was just lazy. Something that would put them off.
If you don't have relationships that you're worried about, it shouldn't matter. If you're willing to move to escape them, they exert too much power over you. Put them off if you can. If you do end up DA/DF, what's the loss?
When was the last time you could openly question the JW religion and press an elder for answers he know he cannot give out loud and see him squirm? I tell you, it's soooo therapeutic to watch an elder squirm for a change!
I'd love to have a couple of dubs that didn't know me come by. But, the only way that's gonna happen is if it's somebody visiting the area or just moved in. Even then, someone else in the car group should know it was my house. If, by chance, someone who didin't know me came by and I blasted away with questions and accusations they would probably take it that I am interested and come back with an MS or elder, all of which know me. That would not be good for someone trying to fade (like me).
To get back to the original question, I would not move. They've already screwed me up enough. I'm not gonna letem run me outa town too. There is a point where you have to stand up and fight. I'll lay low when necessary, but if push comes to shove, I'm gonna stand up for my freedoms and rights.
JH,
I recommend saying just one sentence to them when they call, when they knock on your door, when they bother you.
"Leave me alone". Then close the door, hang up the phone, and that's it. No explanations, no attacks, nothing. No call display, no hiding, nothing. That is all they should ever hear from you. Leave me alone. And they will. And it will work. No worries about restraining orders, nothing.
If you have problems down the road and the afformentioned steps do not work, then post a question how to really get rid of them. That will not happen, though. They will respect your wishes, and move on to more important things, like bickering over who is 'bad assosiation', and what brother or sister so and so said or did.
I moved for business reasons and now sent my DA-letter. That resulted in the local PO at my door. I did not know him, he did not know me.
