A Iranian funeral i attended 9 yrs ago
I had a very dear Iranian friend who died and i attended his funeral, or what ever it is called. They were not speaking English , so i and many others were confused. at the mosque i believe, they separted the men from the women. Us ladies had to remove our shoes as we entered the mosque, and go upstairs to a sort of viewing room . the men were allowed on the floor were the casket was. the casket was sort of a pine box. It was explained to me that they consider this important (the pine box), to be humble no matter your status and income. nothing fancy, a pine box. the deceased is supposed to be not embalmed and wrapped in white cloth. (however, most places require it, unless u can be buried within 24 hours) also, apparently at least texas does not bury on sunday.(actually the funeral director said it is not done in the states, however i do not know that for sure) so if the deceased dies on saturday, they will have to be buried on monday, and not within the 24 hours that the muslim usually practice, according to what i was told.) They are naked under the cloth. This is to also show humility, and that we come into the world naked, and leave it that way. also it is to show lack if greed . After the speach at the mosque, which i have no idea what was said, we went to the burial plot. The casket was open for all to see. seated by the casket was a group of women. (wife daughter, other female relatives. ) there was much weeping and wailing. They cried out to God. A woman spoke over the deceased and said he was a humble man, and though he was well educated and essentially an important person, he freely gave of his time and services to the poor and helped others. while the woman was speaking, a male started arguing with her and it seemed they engaged in a heated debate for a few minutes. again, i have no clue what was said. This seemed very important. there were a great deal of american onlookers, and we were all a bit taken back by all the weeping and wailing. (and the argument) It is a cultural thing, it was explained to us later. I did not go to the after family meeting, though i was invited. i was a bit overwhelmed and tired. a year later, as per their tradition they have something that is similar to a wake. Forget the name of it. but a lot of expensive food is served, and all sit around and talk and then later a holy man reads either from the koran or whatever . in this case, my friend's wife chose to have a few brief words from the koran and then selected poems.I noted that among the very educated and professional muslims, as my friend was and all his associates, the koran is sort of viewed as the higly educated and intellectual in american view the bible. ie possibly a nice book with stories of moral value but not to be taken literally.My friend had often told me he believed in allah, but did not chose to go to mosque, he said the muslims were a very violent people and he did not share their views. However, he still believed in his God, and was accepted by his comunity as a practicing muslim even though he never attended mosque. He told me that the people that practice the strict laws of the koran were the fanatical. I am sorry i can't remember all he names for the different things, but it has been 9 yrs and i was very upset, as this was a very close friend. For me the significant differences were the highlighting of humility, service to the poor, and the pine box with the naked body wrapped in white cloth and all the weeping and wailing and the separation of the men and women.
I am sure practices probaly do vary among muslims as they do with any religion. I got my explantion of what was taking place from his wife and from my friend the explanation of his feelings about his religion.