by Purza 20 Replies latest jw friends
(((Purza)))
I think that JW's have been so used to marking/shunning/etc for so long that they don't even realize how hurtful and unchristian they are behaving. After all - it's supposed to be OUR fault they have to treat us this way right?
Your friend may not yet be completely free of that way of thinking - but be patient with her and know that it is not YOU. It took me some time to really get free and realize how I had hurt other people.
Purza i am really sorry that your friend is being so cruel. Watchtower or not maybe she could use a bit of the attitude back that she is giving to you so she can see how it hurts.
Purza, I know exactly how you feel. I posted this another board before but, Ijust despise my JW relatives when on Sundays after everyone at my Grandma's house has just come from either church or the KH and we all meet up there to eat. My JW will talk to everyone else at the house and ignore me. Like I have Devil horns growing out of my head or something. At first it really didn't bother me but now I get pissed everytime because they are judging me. I had even considered trying to get reinstated just to avoid this and to start a new relationship with my JW dad but after I really thought about it. Why should I change my life just to talk to these hypocrites. Showing love is one of the greatest commandments in the bible. It didn't say show love only to other JW's. But thats part of their "sales pitch". Being nice/showing love to people of the "world" while they are studying or a steady return visit, but as soon as they see that person has no intentions of really becoming a JW but just reaping the benefits (giving them loans, taking them places, just anything to entice the person to joining) they stop associating with that person. Then the person is like oh wait, the benefits stopped I guess I just better go ahead and join the JW's so I can keep getting these "blessings". I've seen it happen first hand. But to them this is love, their versions of agape.
I still love my family because they are family, but if for some reason I was ever reinstated or the "policy" on df'ing was ended because of "new light" which I doubt would ever happen, I would still never feel the same for my relatives that have shunned me all this time. I mean would look me dead in my face and not say a word like as soon as I open my mouth I'm going to be trying to persuade them to do something bad. They don't know what I been doing with my life. All they know is I'm not a JW and they can't talk to me. That's why the friends I have that are not JW's mean more to me than my family does. They are there for me no matter what. Even when I was considering becoming a JW again, my friends said they would still be there for me. But on the other hand if I was to become a JW again more than likely because of the borg and not wanting to bring reproach I would probably have to stop spending time with them. What a crock of crap.
So Purza even though it hurts, just keep on thanking God that you aren't like that anymore. Showing love to a person only if the GB says its ok. I feel that one day when the ugly borg is really exposed for what it is and all the faithful lil dubs can't hide from the facts anymore like they do now, it'll be a good day.
Time to start evaluating who really are your friends and who really care.People who cause emountional hurt are not worth your time.You deserve to be cared for,the way you feel you deserve it.
(((Purza))) ...
Thank you everyone for your comments. I confronted her and told her how much it hurt and she totally apologized.
Purza
that's nice ... I'm happy for you !I confronted her and told her how much it hurt and she totally apologized.
Purza
Thank you everyone for your comments. I confronted her and told her how much it hurt and she totally apologized.Purza
Well I'm glad it worked out. I was going to advise you to do just that. True friends are hard to come by and it's really stupid to let hurt feelings get in the way of a friendship. Heck isn't that exactly what a true friend is someone you can share all your feelings with and know they understand. As well as someone who wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world.
I'm sure you and she will look back at this as one of those moments where your friendship was tested and came out shining!
Hugs!
Kate
Oh,.. I'm so happy for ya Purza.
Happy that you got this straightened out with your friend.
As you said, you did ask her to tell you.. and then she did.
sometimes we don't know how much something really hurts until after we get the information. That happens to me sometimes too.
Sounds like she is a good person who showed compassion when you went back and told her it really hurt.
I agree with Bikerchic.. good true friends are hard to find
Glad it all worked out (at least with her).
(( Hugs to you Purza ))
Special K
