A Happy Ending

by Billygoat 14 Replies latest social humour

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

    Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

    Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.

    I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????

    ***I got this via email from a friend.***

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    ROFL
    I love the stinger that they took the curtain rods - LOL

  • arrowstar
    arrowstar

    LOL....oh I love it!!

    Lisa

  • codeblue
    codeblue

    lol.....I received that email a while back. Revenge can be sweet!!! lol

  • SheilaM
    SheilaM

    ROFLMAO.....ahhhhhhhh

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    About ten years ago I was doing the books for a contractor. We had a drywaller working for us that told me about one job he'd had the year before doing a housing development. He was always getting paid late, or the checks would bounce of something. He was very afraid that when the job got done he'd never get paid in full. So the day he was done, he and his two partners walked into the bosses office and told him that somewhere in the last two houses they'd done there were dead fish nailed into the wall. When there checks cleared they'd tell him where they were.

    They had no trouble getting paid.

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    LOL! Good one!

    I can tell Andi is in good spirits these days!

  • Xena
    Xena

    lol love it

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    That's a keeper (and a re-teller)... Thanks !

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Jeff,

    That reminded me of a story told by a man who installs fireplaces...

    He too had a problem with people not paying for the work he did. Then one day he figured out a way to get people to pay:

    Upon receipt of payment he would go out to the job site and drop a small brick down the chimney. Doesn't sound like much, but when someone did not pay and later when the weather turned cold they would try to start a fire, but the house would always fill with smoke.

    The people would check the flue and shine a flashlight up the chimney looking for any obstructions, but everything looked good, except the house would always fill with smoke.

    Eventually the delinquent payer would be forced to call him. He would tell them that he would not help them until they paid in full.

    Once he got the payment he would tell them to get a small brick, climb up on the roof and drop it down the chimney (he wasn't going to do it for them).

    He would then remind them to clean the broken glass from the fireplace... the glass came from the piece of glass he used to block the chimney.

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