SS,
I can relate to this on so many levels. I work in the HR department of a light manufacturing company in Michigan. Our receptionist reports to me and I have been having some "attitude" problems of my own with her.
First off, not knowing a whole lot about the laws in your state, is she considered a "minority"? Since she intimated that she was a "carpet muncher" was she setting herself up for a possible lawsuit that your company discrimates towards gays? Does your state consider gays a "minority"? I'll bet it does. My state doesn't, but a lot of them are going that way.
Bottom line, she should be fired. She sounds as if she's a cancer in your company. You are doing the right thing with her personally. Maintain your professionalism and don't try to be "friends" with her. It won't work. Work is just that, work. You're not there to be friends with people and "hang out". If there are personality conflicts, so be it. Professionals get past these things and move on.
Having said that, I can't STAND the receptionist that reports to me. She lied to me during her interview and she lies all the time about other stuff. She wasn't my first pick, but I was a "newbie" at the time and I let my boss talk me into hiring her. She's little, kind of cute and she has this way of "engaging" men, whether he be a vendor or a co-worker. Everyone thinks she is this sweet, friendly little innocent, but I've caught her in the act of being a hardcore b*tch. If I correct her in any way, she runs to MY BOSS and complains that I'm "mean and unfair". It's very frustrating. Of late, I have been sending her e-mails and cc'ing my boss on them so she can't accuse me of being "mean" when my boss is not around.
I've worked in several different companies and the receptionist position is always the hardest to fill and turnover is usually very high. If they're good, they promote on to other departments. If they're not good, they either stay there, on the fringes, to make your life miserable or they get fired.
My $.02.
GH