Real beauty is on the inside. We have all heard it, but nothing rings more true. The supposed prettiest people can become very ugly, once their real personality is shown. Nothing turns me off more than someone who is so callous as to not know someone because of some physical "Flaw". I once knew a girl who went out with this guy who was in the army. They got engaged, but she decided to stop the engagement because she could not get over the fact that half of one of his little fingers was gone. The guy was so nice, and really loved her, yet she let something as miniscule as that keep her from a loving relationship. Needless to say, I never spoke to her again. Who needs friends like that.
When They aren't "Attractive"
by simplesally 25 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
Well, I grew up being the "smart" one in the family and my cousin was the "beautiful" one because she was not smart. It affected both of us. She held back pursuing her schooling till later in life because she was not the "smart" one. Like Mulan I looked back at my pictures growing up and I wasn't ugly. Being labeled is a hard thing to deal with, especially when it comes from those around you.
Blondie
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Mulan
A physically attractive person who thinks the world belongs to them because of their looks has been done a disservice.
You said a mouthful there. My mother used her beauty her whole life, behaved badly, and got away with it, I think, because of her beauty. No one ever held her accountable for her rude behavior and inappropriate actions. Even today, at age 92, she is hung up on her looks. She looks pretty darned amazing for her age, and dresses like a society woman, and carries herself as though she were still a young beauty. It's been harder on her than on most women, I think, to age gracefully inside. She talks about her looks way too much for it to be normal.
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Ghosthunter
I considered myself an ugly duckling up until high school. I was always taller than everyone in my class (including the boys), my mother always cut my hair short because it tangled easily and was often mistaken for a boy. Then, being a JW child on top of that, you can imagine my level of self-esteem.
I guess I "grew into" my looks without even knowing it. I remember once, when I was a teenager, an older boy approached me at the skating rink and said to me, "you are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen". I thought he was joking. I found out later he wasn't.
Someone else (years ago) told me I should have been a model.
Now that I'm 40, I know that looks are just that, looks. I'm happy with who I am and so is my husband! I am loved for the person I am, not the way I look. It feels good.
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Mulan
I am loved for the person I am, not the way I look. It feels good
Amen. Great point!!!
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logansrun
Psychologist Alfred Adled developed the idea of compensating for "organ deficiencies" which are any qualities about ourselves we perceive as inferior. If I am not good at physical activity I will make up for it by excelling at mental activity. If I am shy and introverted I will make up for this shyness by developing skills that are more internal in nature.
Everyone does this. Why is it that many "beautiful" people are not usually the most brilliant? Could it be that they focus on their beauty and diminish their intellectual side? I think so. It's rare to find anyone who is the "total package."
Blind people are another, even more striking, example. People born blind often develop their other senses to unimagineable levels. Hearing, touch, smell and taste become their only means of sensation and they use them better than any person with normal sight. The same is true of anyone else that has a serious disability. That's not to say it's not a tragedy to have handicaps, but often it's not as "bad" as we might believe.
B.