Responding To Restraining Order and the Charges It Contains (page 3)

beebee

I'm with everyone that says go hire a lawyer. In my experience, the judges assuming everyone is lying or has an agenda and it can easily become your word vs hers. Also if you get emotional, and it may well be tough not to since this issue is horrific, that will work against you in a significant way. It's almost as if you can't win. If you stay calm, well then you must not be telling the truth since you aren't upset, but if you get upset, the judge gets mad and may well toss you and throw it all to the other side. I've seen it happen.

I once got mad at my attorney and was screaming at the lawyer (what do I pay you for) in the hallway, not in the courtroom. The next thing I knew, there were three officers pointing guns at me saying "we were told someone was threatening a judge" and they threatened me with a 3 day stay in the mental ward. I hadn't even threatend the lawyer! I was just upset, and yes, I had been burned in court that day.

Query the lawyer carefully. Be sure you don't have one that favor's "mother's rights." Had I known my lawyer that day had 8 kids from 7 ex-wives he'd screwed out of child support I would have known he was the wrong lawyer for me.

Take care.

Special K

Going for full custody of your kids is BIG ..

I agree a lawyer may be needed to succeed.

Your letter is brilliant Corvin. Lots of background concerning the J.W.s because they can be so foreign to some people. (( Corvin, Mrs. Corvin and kids)))

Special K

Corvin

Thank you all for your advice. I am at this very moment seeking legal representation to assist me in this matter. I have taken so many of your ideas and suggestions and I am implimenting them, trying to cover all my bases and be prepared for every eventuality. Right now, I am a man on fire. While feeling somewhat overwhelmed, I also feel strong and determined throwing any doubt and fear. My local support is growing as I have been sharing my story. It is encouraging.

Uzzah and all the rest, thanks for your ideas and suggestions. I contacted LoveNorris and they are assisting me as they can, but at present are not taking any non-sexually based abuse cases due to the overwhelming load of sexual abuse cases, and I can understand that. They are working to refer me to someone who can help here locally.

Again, thank you.

Corvin

Lady Lee

I podsted this in one of the other threads but in case you didn't see it

You might want to look at this thread

Ewanchuk v. Ewanchuk: JW grandparents' rights case

Not quite the same issues but it might be helpful

Lady Lee

Just found another

Re: Expatbrit's miscellaneous legal stuff thread

Midget-Sasquatch

I'm never good for advice but you can count on my thoughts on you and your daughters.

Aren't the people on this board great?!!

wannaexit

Well expressed letter.

I have one concern and I hope that I am not out of line.

My concern is this: this bantering between you and your wife has to also have had an effect on your daughters and their mental state and their suicide attempts.

Children need both a father and a mother ever if the parents are not together and of a different faith.

The pitting of one parent against the other is very dangerous and detrimental for children.

I don't have all the answers and I feel for you and your daughters. But I also feel for your wife right now. This situation is not a picnic for her either.

I hope that you can find a good family counsellor that will help to bring some stability to your family and also to your ex's family.

wishing you and your daughter well

wannaexit

Country Girl

I've been through so much of this crap in the past (3 custody trials) that it just makes me want to cry when I read this. Possibly you could have a lawyer file a general denial on the restraining order to buy you some time, and set a hearing for that down the road?

Find a good family lawyer (especially a woman, they fight for blood). Have her file some kind of motion that will open up your old divorce case to say that the circumstances surrounding the previously agreed upon custodial arrangements have substantially changed, and you wish them to be modified. I think they call it Motion to Modify (you have joint custody, I'm assuming, with you as Primary Physical Custodian -- I think you mentioned that).. and go from there. That opens the custody issues back up for your basic assertions of Sara's inability to raise her children effectively, and to keep them sage. THEN proceed to dispute all the assertions made in the restraining order, and the problems that you and the children have had having Sara and her husband having unsupervised custody/visitations with the children; the fear that you have that Sara will not follow through in reporting your child's suicide threats, etc. A lawyer will help you boil all this down to manageable portions, and supporting affidavits, reports, testimony, exhibits.

I am not a lawyer, but I've been through this so many times, and have a giant tower of pleadings to prove it... hehehe.

Good luck to you!

Country Girl

Mystery

Corvin - I sincerely wish the best for you and your family.

I want to tell you something from a "mom's" point of view; not a JW point of view. (I was raised a JW - 3rd generation. I left over 20 years ago. My ex-husband was the son of a Baptist preacher. Imagine that scenario with an elders daughter! I left my husband when my sons were 3 & 4 yrs. old)

My son tried to commit suicide at age 13. His father (not even a JW) played enormous mind games with him and his brother (one year younger than my oldest). He was torn between the accusations of his father about me and me being silent on the reason why I left his father. After realizing that he needed help (from an outside source); I searched for help for HIM. I had to re-think my ?beliefs?. (Medication is for someone else?s kid; not mine. Psychiatrists are other people not my family! Not even to mention the ?evils? of that type of help from a JW point of view.)

I realize that you have a tremendous load on your shoulders ( and I sincerely believe you will prevail); but please, have your daughter talk with someone (you may have to go thru several different people, I did) that knows neither you, nor your ex, nor JW?s. Find a doctor that she will feel comfortable with and be able to talk with. Call around and ask for a teenager psychiatrist; one that will be on their level. Your daughter needs to talk to someone that she knows she can trust. I realize the legal battle that you are up against. But don?t forget that it is not the battle that you began with; it was ?saving? your daughters.

My son has been talking with Mike (I don?t like calling it therapy because - to the extent that they can be ? they are friends) for 2 years. Sometimes I am in on their conversations, most of the time I am not, but I have been in on the conversations enough to know that Mike is good for Ryan.

Simply sometimes we need to talk to someone that just simply listens, ask us questions to make us think of why we said something. I don?t know if you have ever talked with someone that really didn?t know you, but LISTENED to you and it felt good to say it out loud and not have to ?listen? to their advice or their story or?.. Just someone to simply listen.

Just my thoughts ? outside of JW thinking ? inside of a mom?s heart.

Deborah

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

Robdar

Corvin,

You may want to tone down your response and stick only to the facts involving the case.

I am glad that you are consulting an attorney.

Good luck.

Robyn

Responding To Restraining Order and the Charges It Contains

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