I don't miss my dad but I still want to call my mother fairly often, though she died 8 years ago. The impulse to call her, with a consciousness that she was still alive, finally stopped last year. The recollection that she was gone would happen in an instant, but still, every day or so for years I would want to talk to her, and then have to realize she was gone.
kls, a lot of us had it bad/weird/heartless growing up but I've never heard anything like what you lived with, ever.
((((kls))))