surprise visit from my brother, call with Dad, happiness and saddness

by jwbot 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    So today I have had ups and downs. I will cut and paste this from my livejournal

    Today, my brother came over!!!!! OUT OF THE BLUE! It has been several months and he acted like it was last week that he talked to me. I did not press him further because I did not want to risk him not visiting again. It was great, he just came over before he had to work so it was only a short visit. He told me he is thinking about moving into an apartment with 3 other guys he either works with or goes to school with, I told him I thought that was a great idea and that it would be good for him to have some independance and perhaps have a social life. The great thing is, is these other kids are not JW's so it might give him a good perspective...it also shows that he is not judgemental which is good for me!

    I also learned through my brother that my sister Johnna saw me in moms truck (when mom was taking me home from dropping my car off in Milo) that she went straight to M. M., an elder to report her!!!! Then an absolutely wonderful thing happened, M. M. told her that she was being unreasonable and unfair to me. He felt there were some sibling rivalry too from her. He told her that I am NOT an apostate and it is unfair to treat me as such since I am not baptized. Apparently, my dad feels the same way. I think that maybe things will get better from here. I am very hopeful. Anyway hearing the news about Johnna (before learning what M. M. told her) made me so sad that I called up Dad to get my feelings out. I hardly ever talked to him so I was nervous but I told him what I had heard and that I learned that Jennifer and James were saying things about me too, and how dissapointed I felt and that I have been trying so hard to understand and be respectful of their beliefs and that I was even agreeing to go to the assembly--and then to hear about what my sisters are doing. He proceded to tell me what Murray said and that they are all starting to feel a little better and perhaps things will change with how they treat me. He said that Johnna might actually say "hi" to me at the meeting. (aww gee-wiz, I get a "hi"?).

    Unfortunatey, he mentioned that he will always be dissapointed in me and never believe I am a good person (oh but he still loves me) which really hurts. He said that when people ask how I am doing, he can not say I am doing good. I told him I am healthy and I am successful and getting good grades and therefore, I am doing well and he should believe that. He can't though because I am not going out in field service or meetings...that is the only way I can be doing good. I could be dying but as long as I am going to meetings I am good.

    The assembly is this weekend and Mike and I are attending. If my sister says hi to me...I am still very upset but I will have to understand that she has a lot of issues to work through and she is trying very hard to get through them. I just wish they could see I am a good person and I have a lot of respect for them.

    I think I will also give Johnna the letter I wrote to her but never mailed, at the assmebly.

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    ((jwbot))

    Well, what a bittersweet story. I'm very happy to read that your brother is having a bit of contact with you. The fact that he is considering 3 worldly roommates is great! If that happens.. well.. it might just be what he needs to open his eyes more fully.

    As for your sis, she's about in the same place as my older brother, so I understand. You can only hope that her feelings will change.

    Your father's comments.. well, they pained me a bit. Why? Well, I happen to care about you and I empathize. I could SO see my father saying to me what yours said. I recently wrote a letter to my mother telling her how wonderful life is for me. That I am very much in love, we are financially stabilizing, and that school is tiring but going well. You know what she did? Arranged for some elders to meet with me. Huh? I just explained how good things were and she thinks I want to talk to a group of strange men? I just don't get it sometimes. I want my parents to feel a sense of pride at my accomplishments. Unfortunately, that won't be possible if I am not a JW.

    Good luck at the assembly next weekend. Let us know how it goes.

    Luv-

    Bridget

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    Thank you Bridget, that means a lot.

    Sounds like we have a lot of similar things going on. I am glad I did not have school today because even though I am happy my brother visited, I am feeling quite low. I am working on some assignments and I hope that those distract me enough...they really arn't because I find myself just bumming around the house and the internet and checking to see if any new food magically appears in the fridge those 3 minutes I was not looking in it.

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    Ok....so no one but Bridget really cares :(

    Anyway, if anyone DOES care, I have an update.

    My mother just called and said she had talked to dad. It seemed like she wanted to know WHO gave me the information about Johnna. I told her it was Jared (my brother). I had to lie to her and say we saw him at work (he works in the mall) and that I got it out of him and it was not his fault. Then she was talking about the assembly and shes all like "You and Mike go find a quiet place you can sit"....that was weird I thought she told me she would save me a spot. And I asked her and shes like "well we are not supposed to save seats" LIKE THAT EVER STOPPED HER BEFORE!?!?

    Anyway I called my brother up immediately to give him the heads up...siblings gotta stick together.

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    I know how it is when you're dealing with difficult family issues-- ah, the games we play and the hoops we find ourselves jumping through for those we love who are still JWs and so rule-bound! But please don't feel like hardly anyone cares. We do! But as for myself, I'm dealing with issues, too, plus weird scheduling turnarounds due to insomnia over what's going on, and so only just got on-line to see what's going on with everybody else. What I am trying to say is "I CARE! HANG IN THERE and KEEP POSTING." You shall be the first recipient of my first attempt at sending an on-line hug...((((((jwbot))))))--Merry

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    jwbot, I have to hand it to you. I would never tolerate the crap you put up with. I am really surprised they treat you this way considering you were never baptized. I was never baptized either and even my dub mother has not taken it as far as your family has.

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    So now you can't even sit with them? My god, they should be thrilled you're even going!!

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    Hi bot

    Your right, quite a see-saw day you had.

    Unfortunatey, he mentioned that he will always be dissapointed in me and never believe I am a good person (oh but he still loves me) which really hurts.
    He can't though because I am not going out in field service or meetings...that is the only way I can be doing good. I could be dying but as long as I am going to meetings I am good.

    I'm not sure bot how deep you go into discussions with your dad when it comes to JW issues and teachings. It's hard to appeal to his sense of reason when being good revolves solely around worshiping the WT.

    Are people who give time freely to help feed the homeless good people? Guess not!

    Are celebrities who put themselves in harms way to promote feeding starving children and removing landmines good people? Nope not these ones either!

    Does the UN have good people who promote good ideas in many different lands..if not why did the Awake mag say they did?

    If being good depended on going door to door and sharing false prophecies and tidbits about world events the National Enquirer would be a far better read than the WT and Awake and a little more trustworthy.

    I'm sure your dad loves you bot. I'm just sorry for the stupid way he treats you while under they're mind control.

    Shotgun

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    Ok so I just thought of something...my own MOTHER will not go against the "rule" but she informs me that "oh brother so-and-so wants to save you a seat".

    Now while this guy and his wife who are saving me a seat are really nice people and we had been exchanging emails for a while and they were so accepting of me...they are not my family! My own family will not save me a seat.

  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    JWBot - I am quite interested that MM said that to your sister. Of course he is dead on. Once "the word" on something like this is out it may change everyone's attitude toward you. Your sister my end up looking "over-righteous".

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit