I need some advice. I have something mentally tearing me up and I think it's been getting to me. I have a large extended family (4 siblings) and I have been many nieces and nephews. Most of my nieces and nephews are grown now (I am married but I have no children of my own) but I have one brother who still has little ones, ages 6, 5, 3. They are very sweet children and I love to be around them. I would like to dote on my nieces and take them to movies, etc. I always was able to take my other nieces and nephews to places and never had a problem. The problem lies with my sister-in-law. Every time I ask my brother/sis-in-law to take the kids somewhere, I am vetoed. Not with "you're not good enough", but we're busy, blah blah blah. My sister-in-law's mom takes her kids everywhere. Should I ask my brother why he/she won't let the kids spend some time with me? Or should I just drop it?
Am I being paranoid or something? - Advice Please
by TresHappy 15 Replies latest social family
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Frannie Banannie
I would ask your brother.
Hugs,
Frannie B
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pettygrudger
I wouldn't worry too much Tres Happy - it's not you. I have a s-i-l exactly like that. The only people she will allow to have the kids are her parents, her in-laws or only 1 best friend. EVERYONE else, including her own siblings is no no's.
Some parents are just a little over-protective.
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kls
Yes i would ask for your own piece of mind other wise it will keep bothering you till you know.
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Flash
With all he child abuse going on today people are scared. The # 1 group of molesters are 'family members!' So try not to be offended.
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morty
I'm in the same boat Tres...
It does hurt your feelings when they do that. I have one just like that. I tend to take advantage of the situation when my brother shows up with my neice and tell him to go golfing or something so I can spoil her rotten and send her home to her mom on a surgar high.
It also pisses me off when he will not stand up to her and say " It's my sister, she can have her". I guess some mom's are more freaked about it then others. It is also their first, so I am hoping once another comes along she will change her tune.
If it really bugs you, let your brother know that you are bothered by it, and would like to know why you cannot have the kids.
The squeeky wheel gets the oil ..
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squinks
Why would a parent deny a child the love and companionship of family, I don't get it. I had a very cold unloving extended family as a kid. My extended family is still that way and so my kids had no one but me. That is sad. I would have been thrilled if someone wanted to be with my kids, give them love and attention. I don't understand. I would ask!!! Asking would also give you the opportunity to express your love for your nieces. Maybe your S.I.L. doesn't really understand how you feel, make sure they know how much you love the kids. Try to plan a special outing that will let them know how you feel and express yourself.
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Special K
Hi Tres Happy
Morton 68 said:
It does hurt your feelings when they do that
Yeah, it really hurts when you can't spend time with your family.
Squints said:
I would ask!!! Asking would also give you the opportunity to express your love for your nieces. Maybe your S.I.L. doesn't really understand how you feel, make sure they know how much you love the kids.
I think that is a really good approach.
Special K
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bikerchic
((((((Tres))))))
How rude IMHO.......on the other hand if you really just want to spend some time with your nieces ask if you can come over and bring an activity to play at their house with them. I bet if you show up and play totally with the kids a few times she will welcome you and them going somewhere else to play. You might try it, it could be fun for all.
Kate
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franklin J
hey Trey,
do not take this personally. I have small kids and I can tell you that they are all BUSY.
3 kids and they all have several after school activities . My wife is a driver for them.
Soccer, boy scouts, baseball, girls scouts, dance, music lessons; Tai-kwon-do ( this one twice a week).
These kids WANT to be kept busy. They also have school and homework and then they just want to have some social life by having a friend over. The one thing we INSIST on is dinner as a family; that time is sacred. The extended family has to sometimes wait.