Finally was able to talk!

by kwintestal 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    Yesterday I was able to actually talk with my wife about the WT, and where I stand. I mean in detail. For the last couple of years, I'd get bits and pieces out, but then get shut down as she didn't want to hear, but yesterday was different. I don't know if it's becasue she's frustrated with dragging both kids to the hall on her own and getting no help, or if it's because in the year that I've not been active as a JW, I've developed friendships that she hasn't been able to build in the 4 years that we've lived in the city, or if it's that she's listened to bits that I've said and developped doubts herself, but whatever caused it, we had our first open and frank discussion in the last year.

    It started out how she's frustrated that I've told her not to discuss my personal life with people in the hall. Since I've left I've gotten involved in politics, my union, JWD (shh...she doesn't know about that one yet ). She called me a chicken and selfish for not standing up for what I believe in and DA'ing myself. That's when I asked her "By me DA'ing myself, what is that going to accomplish? Who is it going to hurt?" I explained that it's not going to hurt me because I've not spoken to a JW (other then family) for the past year. It's going to hurt her, because she won't be able to invite her JW friends over (not that she ever does because she doesn't have many, although she always has ambitions about doing it), it's going to hurt my parents and my grandmother, because they will be forced to shun me. That's the only reason. We then went on to discuss other problems with the WTS such as, baptising kids (teens are still kids) who don't know anything but the WTS way, the UN, 607 vs. 587, and the protection of child molesters and hiding of instances(something I've seen on more then one occasion, she knows it, and agreed that it was an issue). I explained that when she started studing, that she only looked at info the WTS gave her, she didn't compare it to outside sources. She was attracted to the WTS, mainly because of the morality that it taught, compared to her catholic background, where she felt that she wasn't taught any, that it was kinda left out of the equasion. She really wasn't concerned about the foundation of the org. which I told her to reasearch. She said she'd think about it which is better then anything I've heard from her yet. I have CoC here at home, and suggested she read it just to get the big picture from a different angle. We'll see where it goes.

    Anyway, it was like a weight off my shoulders being able to have such an open discussion with her.

    Kwin

  • avishai
    avishai
    She called me a chicken and selfish for not standing up for what I believe in and DA'ing myself.

    Didja let her know that you ARE standing up for what you believe in, because by DA'ing, you would once again be giving power to them, power to MEN, not God, who don't deserve it?

    One of my favorite lines is at the end of Labyrinth where the girl says "you have no power over me".

  • kls
    kls

    Geez Kwin she can actually see that there is a molesting problem ,wow , good for her . My JW hubby keeps telling me that the molesters are not real JWS. You got your foot in the door and did a great job just don't push to hard and yes the feeling of getting it out is so great .

  • shera
    shera

    Good to hear.Hope things go well for you and family.

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal
    Geez Kwin she can actually see that there is a molesting problem ,wow , good for her .

    Yes, kls, she can. We watched the first news program that came out about it years ago, (despite our PO saying not to because it's like inviting apostates into your home). Since then we've met people who have become good friends and unfortunately have had to deal with this. She was molested by her uncle, and the elders didn't deal with it because of the "2 witnesses" clause in the JW handbook. She went to the police and had charges brought againt the man ... and SHE got shunned. SHE was made to feel worse then she already did because she "brought a brother to court" and didn't "wait on Jehovah". Sick. She's battled anxiety and depression since. Hasn't worked since. Her life has been ruined, because of this. Sick. My wife knows all to well about the problem.

    Kwin

  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow

    Very good news, kwintestal - it's great that you got to have that talk with her, that she was willing to listen and discuss it.

    Please keep us updated if there are any developments - not that I think there's any danger of your not doing so!!

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    It sounds like you are experiencing what my husband did in the early 90's, with me. I wouldn't discuss it with him, and demanded he remove the "apostate" stuff from our home. He couldn't help telling me things he was learning, and it all went into my head. After awhile I couldn't push it out anymore.

    I privately did my own research and came to my own conclusions, which were the same as his. It took me awhile to tell him though. I had been so angry with him for risking our family the way he did, that I couldn't give him the satisfaction.

    It's been a lot better since then, obviously, and we are both out and the entire family is too.

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    Wow Mulan. That sounds very much like what's going on here. Hopefully with the same result. Thank you very much for sharing!

    Kwin

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    You're welcome. Just be patient with her, and realize she has a lot to lose (in her mind). Those things don't just sit in our heads...................they fester.

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    Thanks for the advice Mulan. I'll take it to heart. My salesman instinct says to "Go in for the kill!" But I won't. She said she'll think about things, and I know that looking at "Apostate" material is a big deal for her. She doesn't like change, hates it. That's what this is, and it scares her, because what if I'm right? (I think it may have happened before) And if now's not the right time for her, so be it, doesn't mean I won't talk about it to her 4, 6, 8 months from now. I'm just happy right now we got some dialoge going about it. It'll make it easier in the future.

    Kwin

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