by snbdye2000 24 Replies latest jw friends
WELL THAT IS GOOD NEWS.
WHEN THE BOOK CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE ARRIVES AND YOU TWO START TO READ, HAVE A COUPLE OF HANKIES READY.
IF YOUR HUBBY IS BASICALLY A KIND AND CARING PERSON, SOME OF THE MISTREATMENTS OF AGED MEMBERS WHO HAD DEVOTED THEIR LIVES TO THIS CULT WILL CAUSE THE TEARS TO FLOW.
Outoftheorg.
Hello,
I have to respond though to those who imply that this is all just a "diffence of religious beliefs" and that if there is truly love that it can survive. That may be true to a point, but I feel it would run much much deeper than that.
I basically say that in order to point to the deeper aspect, not to imply beliefs are all that's involved. The thing is when discussions of a religious nature comes up there is a tendancy for people to only focus on the arguments surrounding those beliefs, in other words we can get so caught up in debate over these beliefs that we forget to connect, even if it's our loved ones. Why else would religion break up marriages and families?
How significant the beliefs are depends on how serious people take it, so yes it can run very deep, whereas you might even have some active JWs who do not take it that seriously and they wouldn't have much issue over it. Beliefs in themselves are nothing, you can write them down on paper, but when people start to act on it they can go so far as to exclude their loved ones.
So in a way I am saying to focus on those more important things rather than the beliefs. You might deal with the beliefs and discuss them, but that in itself is strictly an intellectual process and doesn't go very deep. You stand a much better chance if you work from a deeper level. You can say the exact same thing verbally, but if it is said from the heart it has a better chance of reaching him. He may be on sort of an ego trip over the JW headship teaching, but if he has the family's best interest at heart he will notice and get angry about those things.
If anything don't forget to connect, and since beliefs are the point of contention right now it may be challenging, so don't forget to connect at other times in the day in everything else you do together. The thing is, people think if they get the beliefs worked out then there will be peace and harmony - wrong. If you ask me any issues over belief will naturally be worked out if you connect and establish the peace and harmony. (I remember the fruitage of the spirit, I don't remember fruitage of beliefs) Religious discussions may be a part of that process, on the surface, but it comes from a deeper connection. Some people even have different beliefs and they live together just fine, simply because there isn't any crazy fanaticism. Frankly what it comes down to is a person loves the idea they believe in rather than their mate who is real and standing right in front of them. So instead of getting into their head with them I'm saying shake them a little and snap them out of it! They cannot touch a belief and hold and embrace it, and it doesn't hug them back.
Don't be afraid of the JW influence, they only have so much time and exposure to your husband. If you connect the rest of the time in every aspect of life, then they don't stand a chance. It doesn't sound like he's all gone, there's hope. Yes there are people who lose their mate to the Watchtower, but there are also people the Watchtower lose to their loved ones - or ones that never really get in there.
WELCOME. This is probably one of the best ex-jw support groups on the web. There's a lot of caring people here who can help you. Additionally, you might check out this site:
http://www.network54.com/Forum/128637 and click on THE STORY BOARD section. There you will find numerous stories of people who became JWs and left for various reasons.
Good luck ! (btw, you can't say that if you're a JW)
((((((2000))))))
One thing I wanted to point out to you and your husband also:
The JW's do not allow you to take the wine and bread in remembrance of Jesus. Now, in my opinion, any one who truly loves Jesus would not allow a false religion to take away that which allows us to remember and worship our Lord. There are only certain folks, whom they call the "Anointed", who are allowed to partake of the emblems, and this is done once a year at the memorial. These folks have no proof that they are the chosen of God, and there are even some of the so-called "Anointed" who have been disfellowshipped, etc. You may want to ask your husband if he truly wants to reject our Lord, since their baptism requires that you devote yourself to their Organization, not to Christ. Just another snippet to bear in mind, as you both sound like you are believers in Christ. I hope this all works out for you, believe me it can be a challenge! I took communion for the first time ever this year, and it felt wonderful to be able to revere and remember our Lord, which had been denied to me my whole life. Thanks for listening,
~Tamar.
The JW's do not allow you to take the wine and bread in remembrance of Jesus
This is, strictly speaking, not the full story. The WT offers communion to every JW. It requires a witness to take the bread and wine but not to eat it. They take it only to reject it and pass it on uneaten. The symbolism is unquestionable, the WT is the only hope.
