Good to go bravo Corvin!
I will have your site linked to my 7 sites and blogs in a couple of days.Heroes are not born they are made. My early childhood primer and my first'coloring book': http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/2919/night.html
New Website About Child Abuse
by Corvin 16 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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wednesday
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I like the site, wanted to add perhaps "spiritual abuse" could be added in the "abuse?" section.
From our collective pain perhaps we can save a child and help a nonjws parent.
((((Corvin and his family)))))
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MelbaToast
Corvin: These link isnt solely to do with child abuse, but it makes good reading! Im using it and others for my psych paper (MWAHAHAHA)
Why Jehovah's Witnesses have Mental Problems
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Corvin
Thank you, Melba. Some of the information will be useful and can be applied to the child abuse issue.
Corvin
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Xandria
What about the sense of denial that JW parents? have over "discipline"? (I use the term loosely, because what they do, as discipline~ cannot be described as loving discipline.)
Perhaps, that aspect of abuse can be brought out too. Abusers need to know that they are being abusive, so they can recognize the signs and find appropriate behaviors to use.
Many of these parents don't see it as wrong, because their peers support their views. It is almost a type of enabling, to the point that it blinds them to all other aspects of the abuses, which their children are faced with from them daily. They block or don?t want to consider other ways or approaches, because of the absolute control they demand.
A year, before our mother passed on from Cancer. I confronted her in a calm manner, about the physical abuses. She vehemently denied it happening and refused to take responsibility for her actions. Then when she was finally cornered with out any way out, the excuses came. It was my fault; I was trying to twist the situation around, that I was a terrible child for xyz reason, that I made her lose control (when it was her decision), etc.
It was clear she did not want to take responsibility for what had happened. No one likes to be seen as the ?bad guy or girl?, so not to look that way or ?justify? their actions and/or anger. They make excuses, shift blame or block the truth of their actions. I do not know if they cannot face the truth of what they have done, because it is painful to them or because they realize they have done just as their parents have done to them. The horror of it.. that after all, they have become just like the person who victimized them.
What is sad, is they have to power to break cycles to over come past and move forward with a happy life. Again it comes back to choices.To me, what is even worse, that there isn?t real closure for my siblings. They did not get the opportunity to freely express them-selves and begin to find a type of healing from that release, for many reasons beyond control. To some victims of abuse, it can be empowering to voice their feelings to their tormentors. Either it be from writing, face to face, by poetry, or a phone call, etc.
By letting their abuser know it is not all right what they did and that they are accountable for their own actions. The child is moving forward to healing and freedom from the shame they felt, as being powerless to fight against someone, who as a parent should have protected them.
It is a choice to channel anger into constructive or destructive behaviors. It is apparent to me now, that our mother did not know how to express her anger and even disciplined in anger. But what pain it caused, then. To survive and learn to overcome that is a victory.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive?not aggressive?manner is the healthiest way to express anger. She did not have the tools to correctly express herself or what she wanted.
Violence became a way to demand complete obedience and even made us dependant on her for our moods, our thoughts, even our emotions. So it doesn?t help us grown into independent free thinking people, as they claim. It is for our own good, it is for us to know right from wrong, etc. It is their perverted and convoluted version of right and wrong, based on the abuser?s whim, mood and desires.
I strongly believe no child should have to protect themselves from their parents. But if they have to, they should have advocates and a strong support group.
Something to help victims out is something I can support.
Regards,
X.
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Corvin
Xandria, you have a pm.
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Xandria
I don't see one in the inbox. Ok.. this is strange.. I look at the Inbox # and it says 0 new messages.. then I clicked and there was a message. Glitch? or what? But I got it.
X.