Christian Debate Techniques 101

by JanH 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • JanH
    JanH

    Christian Debate Techniques 101


    How to reason with non-believers


    Don’t get engaged in a discussion about issues, logic or evidence. That is a satanic ploy. Instead, follow the techniques outlined below, and you can claim victory in the crusade against the godless. All good Christians should learn by heart the good and wholesome sentences below.

    Strategy 1: I feel really sorry for you!

    Remember that no matter what you do, as a Christian you are a Better Person than the non-believer. Therefore, you must pity them. Also, it is obvious that the only reason people don’t believe in Christ is because they need an excuse to live licentious and immoral lives. Atheists claim they disbelieve because they have seen no evidence. That can not be true.

    1) "I will pray for you."

    2) "Jesus loves you!"

    3) "God loves you!"

    4) "I feel sorry for you."

    5) "There must be some other reason that you are saying ‘no’ to God’s love."

    6) "But Jesus/God still loves you!"

    Strategy 2: But Atheism is a Religion, Too.

    It is obvious to all who have seen The Truth that to not believe in a religion is the same as believing in one.

    7) "You have to believe in SOMETHING!"

    8) "Everybody worships something."

    9) "It requires more faith to not believe in God, than it does to believe in one."

    10) "I wished I had as strong faith in God as you have in atheism (or, evolution)."

    11) "You only believe that you are happy. But you can only find True Happiness through Jesus!"

    Strategy 3: The Moral High Ground

    Obviously, when the filthy atheists don’t accept the strong and logical arguments we have outlined above, it must be because they are morally filthy and corrupt.

    12) "It is obvious you have already made up your mind, so I don’t want to waste my time arguing with you."

    13) "You have chosen to be blind to The TRUTH."

    14) "You have been fooled by the Devil."

    15) "Something must have happened that has made you bitter and angry on God."

    16) "I have met Jesus, so why can’t you?"

    17) "Only the fool says in his heart there is no god."

    18) "You are running away from God."

    19) "You are hiding from The TRUTH."

    Strategy 4: "What’s wrong with you?"

    Since the FACT about God and Jesus is so obvious to us believers, there must be something wrong with non-believers who don’t accept the obvious TRUTH.

    20) "If there is no God, how can you explain the world we live in?"

    21) "What has happened in your life to make you hate God?"

    22) "Of course the Bible seems strange to non-believers. But if you had God’s Holy Spirit you would understand its wisdom."

    23) "Even if you don’t believe it, JESUS LOVES YOU!"

    24) "Even if you don’t believe it, GOD EXISTS!"

    Strategy 5: "Your life has no meaning!"

    Remember to make non-believers understand that without belief in God and Jesus, their lives are meaningless.

    25) "Without God we are alone in the world."

    26) "A universe without God is a universe without hope."

    27) "Without God, life is meaningless."

    28) "Christianity is not only the best answer, but the ONLY answer."

    29) "You use your life on something negative (atheism) instead of using it POSITIVELY (Christianity)."

    Strategy 6: "Just you wait..."

    If you still can’t make the unbelievers repent, make them realize that one day they will see the truth about Jesus. All it takes is some personal crisis, and they will find Jesus.

    30) "Just wait, one day you will find God."

    31) "One day you will cry out for God to help you!"

    32) "If you just believe, God will become real to you."

    33) "I was like you one day, and didn’t believe in God, but then..."

    Strategy 7: God will kill you if you don’t believe!

    This is the last chance. By using obvious or not-so-obvious threats of destruction or hell, you can win any debate.

    34) "One day you will realize that Jesus is your only salvation."

    35) "One day you’ll know I was right, but THEN IT WILL BE TOO LATE!"

    36) "Find God before it is too late!"

    37) "You better wear flame-resistant clothes if you continue being an atheist!"

    Translated and adapted from http://www.herregud.com

    - Jan
    --
    Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil´s Dictionary, 1911]

  • hippikon
    hippikon

    lol I think that about sums it up

  • TR
    TR

    Words of wisdom Lloyd, words of wisdom.-Jack Nicholson- "The Shining"

    TR

    "I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every
    form of tyranny over the mind of man." --Thomas Jefferson*

  • larc
    larc

    JanH

    Some answers I would like to give back.

    1. I will pray for you. Answer - A. Actually, you should pray to me.

    2,3. Jesus/God Loves you. A. That's great, because then he doesn't care if I don't believe in him.

    5. There must be some other reason that you are saying no to God's love. A. Well, yes there is. I just fell in love with this woman who is built like a brick shit house (that is really good if that does not translate into Norwegian)

    6. But Jesus/God still loves you. A. I am glad he has perseverance.

    7. You have to believe in something. A. I do - me.

    8. Everybody has to worship something. A. I worship the ground I walk on.

    18. You are running away from God. A. He must be a slow runner.

    30. Just wait, one day you will find God. A. I didn't know he was lost. Where was he last seen?

  • ianao
    ianao

    JanH:

    ROTFLMAO.

    Great "summation".

    My sides are hurting.

    -ianao

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Ya gotta believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer.

    JAN, you forgot, "Sorry you feel that way" Which is where I usually GO.

    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • Kent
    Kent

    Well, I never answer those questions before I have a reasonable answer to these:

    1) If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

    2) Is it possible to be totally partial?

    3) Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid
    someone will clean them?

    Actually, discussing these questions is far more interesting than discussing if the little desert-god can fight charriots of iron or not:))

    Yakki Da

    Kent

    "The only difference between God and Adolf Hitler is that God is more proficient at genocide."

    Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
    http://watchtower.observer.org

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a drive way,

    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Hi JanH: I am not sure if you intended humor, or seriously believe that "all" Christians debate in such a fashion. I have found very few who follow the formula you describe. Most of them can be found among fundamentalists and cultish groups. Serious, well educated, moderate, average Christians do not follow such an argumentation style as you suggest. On the other hand, I find a number of 'emotional' atheists use your above formula, but simply state it in different terms. However, most atheists and agnostics I know exhibit moderate behavior as do their Christian, Jewish, Hindu and other similar counter-parts. - Amazing

  • JanH
    JanH

    Hi Amazing

    Appreciate your point. Yes, surely, there are Christians who are able to debate these issues rationally. Also, there are non-theists who are not. Yet, the fact remains that in online discussions of theism, it is these forms of braindead "arguments" that prevail on the religionist side. It is of course the case that the religionist side is desperately lacking actual arguments for their supernatural beliefs, for example in arguing for the historicity of Jesus' resurrection such "arguments" are all they have in their arsenal. Religion is an emotional thing, and its adherents use emotional arguments, like the above (or worse!).

    Btw, continuing our 101 course in modern Christian apologetics: the standard Christian response to a valid rebuttal is the following non-argument (also, incidentally, taught in Arm-Chair Psychology 101):

    "Oh, obviously I hit a bit too close to home there, right?"

    Do feel free to find a sense of humour while you're at it, too, Amazing

    - Jan
    --
    Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil´s Dictionary, 1911]

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