Go Ahead And Jump!

Seven

We are born with the desire to stay alive. It is the most basic thing about us; we share it with all living beings. At each moment, millions of events take place inside our bodies and inside our minds that are designed to help us stay alive. Until the present, at least, the forces that are life-preserving have been stronger than the forces that are life-destroying. Many of us endured bleak periods during which inner voices cried out, “Kill yourself. Your life is nothing but pain and misery. You might as well end it all.” Yet we did not die. The desire for life is pre-conscious, pre-verbal. It keeps us going even when the voices tell us to die.

We must be, at bottom, fundamentally healthy or we would not have stayed alive this long. Like all living creatures, we can heal from our injuries and our suffering. If we have a healthy environment, healthy behaviors, healthy relationships, we will recover. We need to identify our histories of trauma, abuse, neglect, grief, and loss. We need to overcome denial on all of our addictive behaviors. We need to provide ourselves with good health care. We need a safe place where we can be who we are, and be welcome. We need quiet, respectful attention as we tell our stories in as much detail and as many times as we need to.
If we get these things we will not just stay alive, but we will have good lives. Lives that are free of the curse of depression and suicidal ideation, lives that are productive and creative, lives that are filled with friendship and love.
By David L. Conroy, PhD

It's been awhile since I've entertained thoughts of wanting to die. I don't know what triggered it this morning. I guess it's not that important now. Score one for the life-preserving forces we all possess. I think when these episodes occur I just have to ride it out knowing it will soon pass. But Geezus what a ride. I cannot image what those who feel this way on a daily basis must be going through. A few hours like that leaves me shaken and exhausted. Taking a deep breath, I want to live.

Sometime ago I copied David Conroy's words into my journal. I believe they're good ones to reflect on.

Seven

Simon

I'm sure we're not the only ones who care about you a lot Seven. If you ever just need someone to talk to, we'll be pleased to send you our number (you can call collect )

(( hugs))

ZazuWitts

Hello our lovely Seven,

I am so happy and releived that you could 'turn it around' today. I think you are so correct in saying we need to find that 'safe place' just for ourselves.

As to those 'triggers' - it's something I've questioned, too. Sometimes I think we aren't FULLY aware of what is deep down inside of us, all the teeny-tiny nuances...and, therefore, haven't yet identified what that 'little thing' is that can alter us so instantly. And, perhaps it simply is not possible to take it that far.

But we do have the ability to heal ourselves...a bit at a time, perhaps...but each of those little bits, compiled, eventually render us a whole, healthy person.

The fact that you can share your 'dark' moment is IMO a very good thing. Take care of yourself in all ways, lady Seven. Surround yourself with all that you know is 'good.' Someday those 'ghosts' will be only momentary 'fleeting shadows' - vanishing more quickly than they came.

Love, Zazu

stephenw20

Seven,
My soul sister...yes Please take a FEW deep slow breaths... the equivalent of SPIRIT in many lands.......... slow the breathing down and let it calm the mind...... focus on the breath ......focus on the air in & out of your body... the spirit flowing in and out.........

please feel free to email.. I am not available 24/7 but I am around much and can listen quite well! i will give you a contact number........

Stephen
Please Seven...keep the breathing slow ,deep, quiet and more regular........

crossroads

Princess--Thank you for the words by David Conroy.
Actually I'm one of those people who fight it on mostly
a daily basis. One time when it seemed there was no
use a friend who couldn't believe how I was crumbling
right in front of her eyes(I can usally put on such a good
front even the pro's can't tell) told me all you HAVE to do
Mark is breath. How simple and true. Yet for people who
have been to the ledge and even jumped at those times
the simple act of breathing is a major-major chore, hell
you have to expand your lungs and that takes energy and
effort you just don't have. So from a guy who really has
a great many feelings for you heres a HUGE and VERY
VERY LONG HUG. It seems that when I get to the end
all I really need is to be held---so considered yourself
still being held my dear with EVA singing "It's a Wonderful
World" very softly in the background.
Love always Mark

Seven

We need a safe place where we can be who we are, and be welcome. We need quiet respectful attention as we tell our stories in as much detail and as many times as we need to.

Simon, Thank you for providing such a place for myself and others who may need to unload a "dark moment" or two. This isn't one of the most frequently visited forums but I'm thankful it's here. Thank you for extending your hand in friendship today. It really means alot to me. {{Hugs}} to you and Angharad and the boys.

Zazu, Thanks for your encouraging remarks. We do have the ability to heal ourselves. You're a very kind and caring woman and I appreciate you taking the time to let me know I'm not alone.{{hugs}}

Stephen and Mark, My brothers in spirit. I love you both and appreciate you more than you'll ever know. We can relate. It's been a very emotional day so I'm going to end it by giving you guys a big hug. Thanks for being there.

Love,
Seven

Cowboy

Dear Seven,
I too know those dark thoughts.It's been a long time (thankfully) since I've dealt with them myself,but I know where they come from.
In the short time I've been here,I have come to think of you as a friend.Those of us posting on your reckless daughter thread have connected on a certain level.You mean alot to all of us and I too am ready to help any way I can.

Your friend always,
Cowboy

PS ((((((((((((((((((((Seven))))))))))))))))))))

Seven

Cowboy, How right you are about our love of music bringing us together. We all share something very special. I'm thankful to have you as a friend. {{{Cowboy}}}

Prisca

Seven,

There have been nights when I've gone to bed hoping I won't wake up in the morning. It's a terrible place to be, but I'm glad you got out of that black hole.

(((((((((((Seven)))))))))))

Prisca

logical

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... *SPLAT*

Sorry Seven, thats how I feel pretty much non stop lately. I understand what its like.

Go Ahead And Jump!

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