by MonkeyPrincess 28 Replies latest social family
Sorry to hear about your situation, MP... A slow death of a relationship is hard to watch.
I haven't hit this wall yet... but I am suspecting that P (a JW I shared some serious scandal documents with) could do this.
I really don't have much trouble getting along with people who think differently from me about what truth might be; at least they are honest (as far as I know). It's a whole 'nother story when they admit upfront that they are willing to call a lie "the Truth".
Unbelievable.
bebu
MP, you have YOUTH on your side to make quicker adjustments than the older ones. Think of YOUR life, drive your own bus and don't let others drive it for you. Do these people (friends or family) put food on your table? Learn to make time your friend. Guest77
and unless she is on her death bed, not to contact them.
and for that your dad is lying: according to his beliefs "she IS on her death bed" with no hope to survive.
We're back to self-responsibility based upon our choices. They, the JW's, that chose to remain a member of that sickening group even when all the evidence is there...can continue living in their own delusion minus any further emotional sentiments from me.
Gawd, I detest those people whether or not they really do believe it to be the truth...or, like my oldest sister and stay on Prozac another 12 years masking her own doubts. Or the youngest sister that introduced me to CoC, and twice now in 14 years told me what a bad influence I am on her family because I've always intertained apostate ideas. That's so friggen %ucked just thinking about it now.
Ok. I saw your children ONCE in 14 years...how the hell am I the bad influence? Screwed up, non-thinking individuals that they are still blaiming others for their own lack. Jezzzzzzz!!!!!
MP, I do not make light of anyone's personal struggle with having been ousted when it comes to family. It took me many years of my own insanity too come to grips with the way it was, not the way I'd like it to be. Facing reality perhaps. Sometimes I'd like to play ignorant but, it just doesn't work any longer. I'd rather know the harsh cruel and unloving way things are {society too} then live a fake life.
I'd best be careful today...I can sense I'm having one of those days where someone else's bullcrap isn't going to work with me.
MP...I think I like you.
GL
Sometimes when a person "gets a life" its only then they relize its ok to say NO to those who want to control it!
My SIL buries her head by saying "we are not meant to understand everything." or the classic, "I dont understand everything but I have faith that Jehovah will reveal his purpose when necessary."
I am coming to the conclusion that the family members that I lose tend to have problems despite religion. My SIL's marriage is not what she wants, she can't find a purpose in life and therefore she turns to a club for a sense of belonging. My brother is a strange duck anyways.
I am slowly learning to let go of them. As I get out more and more, I become normal and I just can't live with the dyfunction anymore.
Love Jez
"if had known before you were born that you were going to abandon The Truth? I would have had an abortion!"
*LOL* there is the mother of all contradictions...
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
i totally agree with you fleaman, with my parents I know that if something happened to make them leave the jws now , they would be lost, depressed and aimless. They have invested too much of their lives into it and I think its better they live on in ignorance than face starting over at 60 something with no friends or family. So even when they try to attack me and i attack back, i try not to say too much to make them question, cause do I want their suicides or illnesses to be on my account, hell no. I say live and let live.
You are not alone. It hurts me loads as well. I went through so many stages and it feels like I am just recycling stages sometimes rather than moving THROUGH them. Sometimes I am ANGRY, sometimes I feel so sorry for myself, other times I am accepting, I mean, it just goes on and on. I do not know when it ends. Depressing right? Well, no.....I have learned many things from my mother and brother's fanatical shunning,
It is not ME, it really is THEIR problem. They are not healthy people.
I do not want someone in my life that refuses to accept my decisions, family or not.
I cherish the family I still have even more.
I remember that they must hurt too, maybe even more than me. They are not truly happy like I am.
I LOVE my husband so so so so much. I would not trade this relationship for one family member that is currently shunning me. Therefore I might work even harder at my relationship with him and I certainly never take for granted the person that I got df'ed for. So in a way, being df'ed/shunned has strengthened my relationship with him and with members of the family that are 'worldly'.
If there is a God, I believe he will take vengence on this organization that encourages such hate.
I see my life on this earth now as a little piece of a big big picture. I am eternal, how I don't know, but I feel it and I am no longer afraid.
It comes down to whether or not you would trade freedom from the WTBS for your family. For me, freedom is something I would die fighting for, they WILL not dictate to me how to live MY life.
Being df'ed has been a blessing on many fronts. Being shunned as well. I enjoy seeing people for who they really are and I enjoy seeing myself as I really am.
The pain of not seeing them lessens, but what do they have to offer you now anyways? If not acceptance first, then nothing else really matters.
BTW, remember (I am still working on this one, it takes alot of strength) your parents may shun you, but that does not mean that you can't act like everything is as normal and just act like you are NOT df'ed. I told my mother to never ever see me as a label again. The first step is not to act like a label. Shock them: turn up for a coffee, let THEM turn you away, phone and blab about whatever, write, invite them over for dinner. I am going to see if this works, my hope is that over time, they will see the silliness of their shunning and slowly accept. If not, well that is ok too, I will only learn from this experience and have a clear conscience that I tried and I will be proud that I did not allow ppl to label me.
Remember examples such as the African Americans, if they had just quietly went to the back of the bus with their head down, nothing would have changed. MAKE them notice us!!!!!!
Jez
