A rock and a hard place

by Pistoff 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  jgnat

  I feel for you, man. The meetings, recently, have taken a hard line to "outsiders". It is most hard to see otherwise kind people eating this stuff up. All of a sudden, I am the "enemy". I can see it in their eyes. It is even worse for family situations. How do you sleep with the "enemy"?

  Given time and a new environment (college), I think your son will come around.

  I often wonder what it is like for Jehovah's Witness mothers, who can only accept one future for themeselves and their children. If their children go their own way, she is cut off from motherly affection. If she entertains doubts, she can never leave, or risk being cut off from her children. The only way to "peace and happiness" is for her to remain on the JW treadmill along with all her children. Unless, of course, she leaves along with her children. A family is screwed nearly every which way you look at it. I am most grateful when I hear of young couples leaving when their children are small. That has to be the healthiest way.
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  Pistoff

  Thanks all for the replies.

  I too think that it is crumbling in my wife's eyes; I am thinking constantly about how to help here when it all snaps, like it did for me.

  The challenge for me at the time was to recover from that awful, OMG, what is left now?? feeling.

  It is wonderful now of course; I am no longer in fear about so many things, and it is wonderful not to have to juggle impossibly conflicting ideas in my head.

  Biding my time here, waiting for the seeds to grow.
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  justhuman

  relax and try not to think about it...have a few days of visiting a nice place
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  LittleToe

  As Blonde highlighted, you can't take anyones beliefs away from them.

  Maybe telling your son that you will not do that, and that his choice of religion and beliefs is his to make, might help assuage his fears.

  That doesn't, of course, mean that it's unassailable. If it really is "the Truth", then it surely has nothing to fear from being questioned
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  Confucious

  Just vent. We understand here...
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  Pistoff

  Thanks all. I am not DF or DA; just fading slowly. I am torn because my congo is not a bad place; the elders are of course do nothing, corporate guys like most places. [When we first moved here my wife was very discouraged and really needed a kind word from them; I asked them 5 times to stop out and talk with her/us; not one visit except an invite for an official shepherd visit when the rest of the hall were getting theirs. Several df'd ones in the hall have asked them for a talk between 10-20 times; no response. Can you imagine being nearly suicidal, asking for a visit from them, and getting......zip??] Anyway, I am in the driver's seat, I finally realized. The rest of the hall is friendly, and the elders are not too gonzo about most stuff, except when the occasional rabid CO gets in their face; then they mindlessly repeat the company line. I can't see my son staying with it long term; he is too much of an analytical thinker. The conflict is that he has very good friends there, and a GF too. I am just trying to be as honest as I dare, and emotionally supportive. No confrontations or skull sessions.
• 

  Pistoff

  Thanks all. I am not DF or DA; just fading slowly. I am torn because my congo is not a bad place; the elders are of course do nothing, corporate guys like most places. [When we first moved here my wife was very discouraged and really needed a kind word from them; I asked them 5 times to stop out and talk with her/us; not one visit except an invite for an official shepherd visit when the rest of the hall were getting theirs. Several df'd ones in the hall have asked them for a talk between 10-20 times; no response. Can you imagine being nearly suicidal, asking for a visit from them, and getting......zip??] Anyway, I am in the driver's seat, I finally realized. The rest of the hall is friendly, and the elders are not too gonzo about most stuff, except when the occasional rabid CO gets in their face; then they mindlessly repeat the company line. I can't see my son staying with it long term; he is too much of an analytical thinker. The conflict is that he has very good friends there, and a GF too. I am just trying to be as honest as I dare, and emotionally supportive. No confrontations or skull sessions.
• 

  czarofmischief

  Can you imagine being nearly suicidal, asking for a visit from them, and getting......zip??]

  Yep. Trying to get reinstated, I had to appeal to local elders to approach the ones in the hall where I was diffed (only one circuit away). And they SOOO didn't want me there. Screw 'em. At least Catholic priests have a rep of making the effort. Not so the elders. In fact, GOOD elders tend to be the exception, especially these days, from what I hear.

  CZAR