NEW SAN DIEGO X-JW SUPPORT GROUP FORMING

by Corvin 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Corvin
    Corvin

    To bring you up to speed: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/79728/1.ashx

    Everybody, meet Larry.

    While the above skepticism and sarcasm might be a normal response and even warranted in the beginning, I will state that Larry is a good guy, big heart, lot's of knowledge and understanding, articulate and disarming. Can't dance worth shit tho, JK.

    While Larry has never been a JW, he has studied with them and has his own story to tell, and I will let him tell it.

    We have met twice, once in his home, and it seems as though after everything has been said and done, a very positive aliance has been formed. Larry's knowledge of cults and thought reform is pretty deep and he has formed relationships with others on this board we all know and respect. Therefore, it is my opinion that Larry is a valuable asset to those seeking help and recovery.

    At length, with details to follow, we have put together a very real support group for the San Diego area. What is different about this group is that it is geared toward getting help and counseling to recovering JW's with bonafied therapists and counselors who have a keen desire to understand and help. Such counseling will not be a mandatory part of the group setting, but it will be offered. It is our ultimate aim to fill the gap between traditional counselors and therapists and the unique situation a df'd, apostate or da'd JW finds themselves in. The possibilities for expansion and duplication of a successful group model for other areas is being explored.

    While members of the support group can discuss doctrine and other issues related to their former faith, there will be absolutely no "evangelizing" or "spiritual guidance" offered to the group. No substituting one religion or set of beliefs for another. It is agreed that spirituality is a very personal matter, between the individual and their god, and such assistance should be sought outside the group, not within.

    So, please welcome Larry and feel free to ask him the hard questions (and I know you will). He is truly a man that puts himself on the line, so I don't think he will mind.

    A big question for those reading this post is: if you were to participate in a X-JW support group what should it include that would enable you personally to get your needs met?

    Your honest replies and ideas will go along way to help others.

    Corvin

  • Corvin
    Corvin

    really . . . ? nobody wants to touch this one?

  • under74
    under74

    Well..I would but I'm too far north of you :)

  • Triple A
    Triple A
    While members of the support group can discuss doctrine and other issues related to their former faith, there will be absolutely no "evangelizing" or "spiritual guidance" offered to the group. No substituting one religion or set of beliefs for another. It is agreed that spirituality is a very personal matter, between the individual and their god, and such assistance should be sought outside the group, not within.

    What about individually? If a person still recognizes that there is a God and has a need for spiritual guidance, where do they go?

  • Xandria
    Xandria

    Well, I know that I am still going through things and am not out of the woods, nor expect to be really. At times there are things that surprise me still, that pop up out of the blue. So I can say the JW experience may not fully ever leave me. But, I sure can try to create new experiences.

    The one thing that came to my mind when Corvin asked the question what would help you personally.

    I know many of us, had the frightening experience of having no where to go. The feeling of limbo and free falling, where you aren't quite sure what to expect or how you will be received. Watching how Corvin first reacted to the invitation Larry gave, is indicative to what many of us distrust. We fear~ why, because we have good reason too. Thus, for many of all ages it is hard to reach out and actually get the help we need.

    As a person fresh out of this religion in 1989, I did not really did know what direction I wanted to go in or needed to go towards, I was free falling. It was terrifying. I am glad that I did have a father outside of the religious grasp of JW-ism, but he could not understand how I felt or why I did the things I did. None the less, he loved me unconditionally. Which I appreciate to this very day.

    I know my sister; Tamar had a difficult time too. She was out of the house at 15 years of age and just as unprepared for life too. Living on the streets is a dangerous place to learn. It is a place where one mistake can cost you dearly. Trying to survive doesn't give you the time to sort through all the emotions, the fears, etc. I had only wished my sister contacted me, but she did not due to being told lies by our parents. I also wished I had known about her situation sooner, rather than after the fact. Again Shunning and the lack of communication strikes havoc.

    A place is needed for those who have been expelled from the home or need a place to go for protection of abuse. CPS is one thing and they are over worked and definitely there have been children who have fallen through the cracks.

    I know as a group we can pull together and really come up with some terrific ideas and implement them into being. There are grants available for many things, there are businesses that can sponsor and donate, then there is us, to also help support this. It is just a matter of pulling together to make it happen.

    I am not a grant writer, but I am sure there are those out there with that experience. I also know that we can establish a non-profit, a business license, etc. We can have a House of Hope, where it is a stepping stone on to better things. Where religion is a choice not something forced, where you know people can help, etc.

    One of the many grants I found came from this site: http://www.fedmoney.com/grants/b0054.htm

    Here are a few to look into( or what we can link with in participation of a program):

    Education and Prevention to Reduce Sexual Abuse of Runaway, Homeless and Street Youth

    PROGRAM OBJECTIVES:
    To make grants available to nonprofit agencies for the purpose of providing street-based services to runaway, homeless and street youth, who have been subjected to, or are at risk of being subjected to, sexual abuse, prostitution, or sexual exploitation.

    ELIGIBLE FUNCTIONAL CATEGORIES:
    1. HEALTH;
    - Education and Training;
    - Specialized Health Research and Training;

    WHO CAN BENEFIT FROM THIS PROGRAM:
    - Individual/Family;
    - Youth (16-21);

    WHO CAN APPLY:
    - Private non-profit institution/organization (includes institutions of higher education and hospitals); etc.
    - Native American Organizations (includes Indian groups, cooperatives, corporations, partnerships, associations);

    Chafee Foster Care Independent Living
    PROGRAM OBJECTIVES:
    To assist States and localities in establishing and carrying out programs designed to assist foster youth likely to remain in foster care until 18 years of age and youth who have left foster care because they attained 18 years of age, have not yet attained 21 years of age, to make the transition from foster care to independent living.

    ELIGIBLE FUNCTIONAL CATEGORIES:
    1. INCOME SECURITY AND SOCIAL SERVICES;
    - Information and Referral Services;
    - Public Assistance;
    - Specialized Family and Child Welfare Services;
    - Specialized Services;
    - Training Assistance;
    - Youth Services;

    WHO CAN BENEFIT FROM THIS PROGRAM:
    - Specialized group (e.g. health professionals, students, veterans);
    - Youth (16-21);

    WHO CAN APPLY:
    - State (includes District of Columbia, public institutions of higher education and hospitals);


    Opportunities for Youth_Youthbuild Program
    PROGRAM OBJECTIVES:
    The Youthbuild program provides funding assistance for a wide range of multi-disciplinary activities and services to assist economically disadvantaged youth. The opportunities are designed to help disadvantaged young adults who have dropped out of high school to obtain the education and employment skills necessary to achieve economic self-efficiency and develop leadership skills and a commitment to community development in low income communities. Another important objective of the Youthbuild program is to expand the supply of permanent affordable housing for homeless persons and members of low income and very low income families. By giving disadvantaged young adults participating in the program meaningful on-site training experiences constructing or rehabilitating housing as a community service, they are helping to meet the housing needs of homeless and low income families in their community.

    ELIGIBLE FUNCTIONAL CATEGORIES:
    1. HOUSING;
    - Planning;

    WHO CAN BENEFIT FROM THIS PROGRAM:
    - Youth (16-21);

    WHO CAN APPLY:
    - State (includes District of Columbia, public institutions of higher education and hospitals);
    - Local (includes State-designated Indian Tribes, excludes institutions of higher education and hospitals);
    - Sponsored organization;
    - Public non-profit institution/organization (includes institutions of higher education and hospitals);
    - Federally Recognized Indian Tribal Governments


    Social Services Research and Demonstration
    PROGRAM OBJECTIVES:
    To promote the ability of families to be financially self-sufficient, and to promote the healthy development and greater social well-being of children and families.

    ELIGIBLE FUNCTIONAL CATEGORIES:
    1. INCOME SECURITY AND SOCIAL SERVICES;
    - Research, Demonstration;

    WHO CAN BENEFIT FROM THIS PROGRAM:
    - Infant (0-5);
    - Child (6-15);
    - Youth (16-21);
    - Welfare Recipient;
    - Low Income;
    - American Indian;
    - Handicapped;

    WHO CAN APPLY:
    - State (includes District of Columbia, public institutions of higher education and hospitals);
    - Public non-profit institution/organization (includes institutions of higher education and hospitals);
    - Profit organization;
    - Private non-profit institution/organization (includes institutions of higher education and hospitals);
    - Quasi-public non-profit institution/organization;
    - Federally Recognized Indian Tribal Governments;

    As you can see by the grants available there is money to start several projects, it is just getting things together to go after them.

    X.

  • Corvin
    Corvin

    Awesome post Xandria! Thank you for your support.

    What about individually? If a person still recognizes that there is a God and has a need for spiritual guidance, where do they go?

    Individually, each group member's personal beliefs about God and the Bible will be respected and protected. If one has a need for spiritual guidance, there are more religious/spiritual resources than you can shake a NWT at. Each individual is responsible for his own spiritual nurturing, and the same hand, we all must support and validate whatever empowers that individual, whether we agree with it or not.

    The group meetings, however, should deal with issues pertaining to the exit itself, hardships, challenges, loss, grief, depression, anger, shunning, spiritual identity (but not a forum for anyone's personal ministry or evangelizing work and not a place for religious instruction). There are an incredible amount of issues to discuss.

    Corvin

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Who is he on this board?

    S

  • Corvin
    Corvin
    Who is he on this board?

    unclepenn1

  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow

    Well hey! Welcome, Larry/unclepenn, glad to meet you. Hope to meet you in San Diego area too then.

  • BrendaCloutier
    BrendaCloutier
    Larry is a good guy, big heart, lot's of knowledge and understanding, articulate and disarming

    "Doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo --Leader! --Leader! --Leader!" -Homer Simpson (tune to batman)

    Ok, my skeptical questions for ponderance are:

    1) how much is this going to cost each member of the group each week. Of is it free or by free-will contribution (with or without suggested amount)

    2) is this going to be in his home or at his place of business (church?)?

    3) how will spirituality vs religion be handled?

    4) does he have a recovery agenda (outline), and what is it?

    My possitive input is:

    In a number of cities, my experience being Seattle, a number of churches of various denominations have opened their doors to AA and other recovery groups, including toxic religion. One specific I'm thinking of is St Pauls Lutheren in Ballard. The Priest is a recovered alki and has totally opened his doors to the community for recovery purposes. On Sunday afternoons he ran John Bradshaw tapes, in sequence one each Sunday, for anyone who wanted to attend. No donation requested. This man has a big heart and in recovery himself felt the need to open to the community at large. Of course, because it was convenient and comfortable to so many who attended groups there, many attended services, too. But this was not this man's goal.

    This Larry may have the same heart, and honest motives.

    Hugs

    Brenda

    PS, I would have commented yesterday, but was under the weather, and had to ponder. feeling better and more vocal today.

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