My daughter and granddaughter.

by kat2u 21 Replies latest social family

  • kat2u
    kat2u

    This may be a bit long,,, sorry,

    My daughter T was born when I was a married witness,I was almost 21.She was a very sweet outgoing loving child.When she was 4 I had another daughter S . LOL this one was my challenge when she was little but is now such a joy to me.

    Anyway T began school at 5 and seemed to be doing well with school and her friends.

    Just about a month after she began 1st grade we had stopped to eat lunch while out in service.T suddenly made a strange noise she looked off into space with a strange stare and wouldnt respond to anything we said or did.I was in a panic by the time she began talking again and told us that she heard us but couldnt answer us at that point.DEMONS?Was my first thought but as I began to ask her about it then i began to feel she had had a small seizure. I called the doctor as soon as I got home and he told me not to worry and to bring her in on monday,

    I wasnt happy about this but did as he said.I told her to let me know if it happened again.It did once more before monday.I told the dr, what was going on and he told me that I was wrapped around her little finger but that if i was insistent he would schedual a eeg for the next week.NEXT WEEK?! I called around and got her an appointment at a clinic the next day for an eeg.

    As this very sweet woman was doing the EEG i asked her if she could tell me what it meant.She said No you need a neuroligist (please excuse any spelling) for that.I said I dont have one, How do I get one? she said i could make an appt but it would take a couple weeks to get into see one I Got very upset....she pulled some strings and we left right then and went to a local neuroligists office. He did the EEG and she had a seizure while they were doing it.I thought ohh good now they can tell me.

    He was a bit nervous about me not going thru my regular dr. I could tell ,and he told me it was like nothing he had ever seen before and so I just should ignore them.I couldnt do that so I began testing her durring her seizures and found she could remember what i was saying to her after the seizure but could not speak or move her left side durring the seizures. she was having one or two a day at this point.

    I then went to the library and checked out books on seizures and the causes. Found out she was having complex partial seizures and often caused by brain tumors.I told dr. this but to no avail.About 2 weeks into this she bagan to fall backwards durring seizures andher eye would jump when having them. FINALLY dr said. hmmm no way she could fake that she needs to be in hospital till we figure this out.

    So into hospital she went Dr. still convinced she was somehow faking and he tried to make her bring them on herself... she didnt. he decided to send her home on seizure meds.I said I wanted CT scan before she went home. Dr finally agreed to it.He said they would do a simple one and since the contrast they sometimes put in thru IV had some risks that they wouldnt use it unless they saw something.I was waiting there alone when the nurse came out and asked her weight so they could use the IV contrastI KNEW..... and tried to ask her but she wouldnt say anything. I paced the floors till the Dr. came and told me they had found a brain tumor. My mother in law who was there with me by then began hyper ventilating and so we had to try to calm her down all I could think of was what does this mean????? tell me more!!!!

    wow im worn out will continue more later

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    kat:

    My heart goes out to you and your daughter to get through this. (((hugs)))

    Doesn't it piss you off when doctors don't take situations seriously. Good thing you did, and didn't put things off.

    Kwin

  • kat2u
    kat2u

    to continue....

    We then began the series of further tests and visits to surgens.Also being good dubs we were in nose deep with the blood issue.We were told at one point that she probably has six months to live.

    Well after another couple weeks of hell we left for california for her brain surgery,

    Which actually went better than we expected because her speech wasnt affected as they thought it might be.So then back home and off to onocoligist.

    To back track a little I was getting some support from those at the hall but my husband was very uninvolved for the most part in this process.But thats a whole nother story.

    T went thru radiation therapy for a bout 6 weeks i think it was. And durring this time her personality changed alot.I remember going to the radiation therapist and crying because I didnt understand why she was changing in her personality so much.

    After the radiaiton was done she was back to school and though no sezures she was unable to pick up anything new in school.She ended up in special classes because she couldnt follow in the regular class,And she was having some social problems as well.

    She became very hard to reason with and so hard headed about very stupid things that it was difficult to deal with her sometimes. as she went thru my divorce and my disfellowshipping it definatly made it even worse especially sinse this was durring her teen years. and her abilities eventually got to about 4th grade level and stopped there.

    She kept going to meetings as I had told the girls it was there choice.

    But she moved out in a huff at 18 and I was very frightened for her.She got involved with a stange non witness family and moved around quite a few times in the next year or two but was very determined to do things her way.So I had no choice I let her and tried to be there for her when she got into tough stuff.

    Eventually after living with a guy for about 6 months she got pregnant.I was upset but told her I would be there for her And that I would help in whatever way I could.

    she avoided those from the hall so wasnt disfellowshipped, at her first ultrasound they found the baby had a heart defect.we all cried and did alot of reading on this defect and found that the baby was viable.We had specialist and surgeon all ready and lined up she and I became very close and I was there when her son Tyler was born.she said to me MOM I have a Baby He was perfect in every way except for his heart that is.

    When he was three days old the were going to do surgery on his heart to manage his defect I was the only one there with T even babies dad didnt show up till later.

    Tyler passed away on the table because the bypass machine malfunctioned while he was on it.We were devastated! She said to me MOM my baby is DEAD, I felt so helpless as we followed them into the room to see him after he was gone And i picked him up and handed him to his mother because i felt she had to hold him to feel him being gone.It was the hardest thing I ever have done.

    She and I went to grief counseling together as Tylers dad was no longer in the picture very quickly after tylers death.

    Soon after that T began going to meetings again within about a year and a half she was engaged to a brother and no longer speaking much to me, She got married and The wedding was very tough for me as I was not to be at the reception and was shunned at the wedding.

    So then within the next year she was again pregnant.... again im taking a break,,,

  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow

    Kat, I'm following with much interest. Thank you for relating the story to us.

  • bebu
    bebu

    ((((((((((((((kat))))))))))))

    I don't think you could write anything more awful than all you just related.

    I am trying to understand how you could be shunned after giving all of yourself to her ...It's shocking to me; I can't comprehend it.

    I'm sorry for the acres of heartache which these few sentences covered.

    bebu

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    OMG Kat.. I am sitting here in tears reading this..

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    Kat, I am at a loss for words except to say, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandchild. Also for your daughter not speaking to you anymore.

  • Special K
    Special K

    Hi Kat

    I'm reading your story and hanging on every line. you said it was long but I read so fast it didn't seem long at all.

    sorry about the things you have been through.

    Life is sometimes so tough on a person. It's not that one asks for these tough things to happen they just do.

    ((( Hugs to you, Kat )))

    Special K

  • hubert
    hubert

    Well, I have to reply to this...I don't really know what to say, except you have been through hell. I'm so sorry to hear this. ((((kat))))

    Hubert

  • Bryan
    Bryan

    (((((Kat)))))

    I can't take anymore! I am so sorry. And there's more?!

    Bryan

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit