by hubert 22 Replies latest social humour
The other nite ; I was observing the lunar eclipse ( in the North East, America) with my 3 kids . We were looking through a large telescope set up on the front of our property.
My 5 year old Caroline informed me very matter of factly " dad, you know that the moon IS NOT made of cheese"
"No? Then what is it made of ? "
Very serious reply " It is made of wood".
My grandson was about 5, and heard his mother say "God Damn It", in a traffic situation. I was there too.
He proceeded to use that phrase about 10 times, while telling her that "god damn it" is a bad word and you shouldn't say "GDI", on and on. We were dying.
My son is 6 and we just had a new baby girl....as my son watched the birth he stepped up the doctor immediately after the delivery and exclaimed... "Holy Crap...Just like poop through a goose".
I am very politically involved (as my recent posts reflect LOL) and recently took my son to meet Mrs. Bush at a campaign event. As we were leaving a local news photographer took our picture and put it in the paper the next day. When my son was approached by a democratic friend of ours (yes I have Dem friends) she asked why he didn't like Kerry....and he replied "He's against recess and should be the President of France".
My son is also a big flirt (must get it from his mother ) and is continually "hitting on" the mom's of the kids at school....lines like: "Hey baby, you're the most" and "hubba, hubba" and Hey, How you doin ?" He does have pretty good taste in women but probably should be looking more in his age bracket. LOL
Family friends were visiting for dinner and he was playing "star wars" with the wife...He asked if she played like this with her sons and she replied that she didn't have any...his reply (meant innocently enough) ..."wanna make some".
I love the stories guys!!!
My 7 year old daughter was drinking soda today, and after she took a few gulps she put the glass down and made a strange face. I asked her what was the matter. She looks at me and says
"oh i just hate it when i burb out of my nose."
LOL!!!!
-Doodle-V
I agree I enjoy the stories.
My four year old grand-daughter is into what the hell is that....or what the hell are you doing... I'm wondering if it's a four year old thing, kls?
A few week-ends back she and her mom were getting ready to go shopping.. and I said something off the wall and my daughter said mom your such a dork,,,, then Felicia said yeah Nanny your a dork and I replied unh uhh! Fel whispers to her mom..."Nanny don't know she's a dork do she?" I said "hey! I heard that. " So of course taking a good thing and running with it like we do I'll tease the little one... I'll be talking to Fel and she'll come up with something funny and I'll say your such a dork and then say "she don't know she's a dork do she"!!! and she says "I heard that." ( Dork is a term of endearment in our family btw)
Dorothy.
My friends little boy (4) was singing the nursery rhyme that goes, the farmer's in his den etc, the second verse is the farmer wants a wife.
Well he got the two verses a bit mixed up and was walking around singing at the top of his voice 'The farmers in his wife, the farmers in his wife'
He had everyone in hysterics and had one idea why !
Ha, Ha !! Good one, angharad !
In fact, they are all funny !
I got another one.... My grandaughter of 8 years old has a disc player and earphones, and she said to me while taking a break from it, "Grandpa, you should get one of these". I said..."why"?
"Then you could listen to your "old fogey" music". ....She was serious, of course.
Hubert
One day I told my five-year-old, "You're a great son."
He thought about it for a second and said "You're a great moon."
When my son was about 3 or 4, I was at Target with my son. There was a pregnant woman by us and my son asked me what was wrong with her belly. I explained to him that she was pregnant and that she was going to have a baby.
Pointing at her belly, he yelled, "Excuse me, Sir? Is there a baby in there?!"
(He used to get Sir and Ma'am mixed up a lot back then)
this ones embarrasing:
My wife used to tell my sons to wipe their willy after peeing. (Women kinda think differently to men huh?
Anyway, I used a public toilet in town one day due to desperation and left my family standing the other side of the road, when I came out my son bellowed across the road "DAAAD, HAVE YOU WIPED YOU'RE WILLY?
*red face*
Brummie
