New and amused

by Commie Chris 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Hi Commie Chris,

    Just a short post to say welcome.

    As for your subject header.......the posts preceeding my own state quite easily what your amusement concerns.

    Ana

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    LOL @ ana

    sometimes you can wonder why you ever bothered posting.....

  • dmouse
    dmouse

    Here are several very important but often forgotten rules of English:

    Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

    Avoid alliteration. Always.

    Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)

    Employ the vernacular.

    Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

    Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

    It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

    Contractions aren't necessary.

    Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

    One should never generalize.

    Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

    Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

    Don't be redundant; don't more use words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

    Profanity sucks.

    Be more or less specific.

    Understatement is always best.

    Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

    One-word sentences? Eliminate.

    Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

    The passive voice is to be avoided.

    Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

    Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

    Who needs rhetorical questions?

    While a transcendent vocabulary is laudable, one must nevertheless keep incessant surveillance against such loquacious, effusive, voluble verbosity that the calculated objective of communication becomes ensconced in obscurity.

    In a sentence, the nouns has to match the verbs.

    Don't use no double negatives.

    In writing, few things are, so to speak, more infuriating, than, say, commas, at least when there are too many of them, or when they should be, say, semicolons.

    Proofread your work, so you don't leave some out or forget to finish

  • Free2Bme
    Free2Bme

    Hi Chris
    Welcome to the board!
    I don't even have to ask why you are amused. As for others if they read their own replies surely they will see it too?

    Free

  • waiting
    waiting

    hey dmouse,

    What a saver your post is! I'm so confused now - ain't no way I can talk 'cause all the "real" language is gone. Damn it. Here today, gone tomorrow. *sigh.*

    Made my fingers tied, as I can't talk without any of the aforementioned rules coming into play.

    Ignoring Ralph:

    Before I came here I was confused about this subject. Having listened to your lecture, I am still confused. But on a higher level. Enrico Fermi

    Hey Chris!!!!

    Welcome and I hope you stayed amused, perhaps even confused. It becomes a way of weblife.

    waiting

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    lol's@Prisca

    I agree in total with your statement.

    Ana

    oh...to hell and be damned with English lessons..

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