Best Healing... Leave or Stay JWD... (page 2)

vitty

As I have only started fading for about 6 months. I come on this board everyday.

My husband on the other hand doesnt feel the need to. He is not as effected by the truth as I was. He just wants to put it behind him as a bad experience, but as we still have family in we cant

I really appreciate the ones that have been here for a long time, as most have been through many problems new ones are just experiencing and they need there advice.

I hope blondie stays for a long time, Like I said Im fading so I dont get the mags and my family are suspicious that we are not going to the meetings, anyway this week I said id been to the watchtower study and was able to give the right answer when i was quizzed! Now thats sad

Abaddon

I would say;

"Sweetheart, telling me to "hurry up and get better" doesn't help.

Whether or not you feel I have any issues to resolve, I feel I do. You wouldn't dare tell a reformed alcoholic that they can start drinking again without any problems, or that they could not bother with the AA meetings. You wouldn't assume you knew better than them or better than people who have already conquered alcohol addiction.

Now, I haven't got any addiction to fight. What I have to fight for is my own mind. Seeing things without the Jehovah's Witnesses coloured-glasses. You've never had them on; sometime I don't even know that I am wearing them until someone points it out.

If something happened in your life that meant you suddenly realised your trust was abused and years of your life wasted, and that much of what you had accepted as a fact was utter trash,, could you just shrug it off? Wouldn't you be interested in people who had the same experience?

I know you want me to 'get better', but you think I am 'not moving on' by going to the board. I am 'moving on' BY going to the board, and I hope you can support me in it."

Balsam

I would say it is obvious you have issues to resolve. I found meetup and met lots of ex-jw who were going through the same thing as I was in my area. It helped talking it out. My husband said said to me time to move on, he let me take it at my own pace. Considering it has been only 3 1/2 years I feel wonderful, all the fears behind me and ready to live a full life.

Balsam

dorothy

Leaving the WT is the same as leaving a relationship. When you stop talking about it, thinking about it, "joking" about it, driving by to see what's going on, you're over it. No one here is over it.

ConcernedMom

It's not like it has to be all or nothing...no one has to "DA" from JWD--as you heal and replace the time spent here with other things, you can "fade". Only you can set the timeline and if you need to come back, you know you will be welcomed.

mkr32208

I think for those of us that have family still in the borg that this board or othes like it will become a permenant place to roost. If you have no family still in so there is nothing that forces you to be close to the JW's I think it will be different. I believe that most people will come here to heal, then when the healing is complete they will ween themselves from it.

I think if you don't have any REASON to stay close to the WTBS and for some reason decide to stay on this board for year after year that over time you would just become bitter maybe even obsessed AND bitter read some post from some members and you'll see what I mean!

As to da'ing yourself I wouldn't. Even if you have no family still in it's negative! Don't support their foolish control system! Just walk away,,,

Confucious

Thanks guys.

I'm reading this thread with great interest.

I went ahead and printed it out for my girlfriend so she can understand this better.

Thanks.

Con

Lady Lee

"Forget it and move on" is what abuse victims have been told for ever. What the WTS does is spiritual abuse so the lessons apply.

If we could forget it - we would. If we could pretend it never happened - we would.

But being a JW affects every single part of your life. All those rules and controls. All that thinking for you instead of being allowed to grow up and learn to think for yourself. There is a lot of damage control to be done.

Moving on has to be when you are ready. -- never on someone else's schedule or what they think is best.

Sometimes even those who love us and have our best interests at heart just want us to move on. And sometimes they are right. This place can keep a person from entering real honest relationships and life due to the fears we were filled with. Take an honest look at what is working and what isn't. And then change what needs to be changed.

Sassy

Con,

My boyfriend was kind of feeling the same way. He was never a dub, so as you know it is really hard for them to understand if they haven't walked in our shoes. He used to think it only slowed me down in healing and when I joined a non JW site, he was thrilled.. he thought it would be the best thing for me to have a board without the dubs stuff.. and not that it has been a bad thing, but it has nothing to do with my healing.

I think my bf has finally eased up on his views of me being here and part of that reason that I think made the biggest impact was the fest. Although he wasn't with us all of the time, he was there for part of it both nights. I think it was really great for him to see us all together talking about our issues AND our healings.. supporting each other.. I've really seen a different attitude from him since the fest. I think now he sees this as a positive thing.

Maybe you can take her to a fest some time??

Best Healing... Leave or Stay JWD...

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