Code,
This had to be given to you tongue in cheek,, your friend may have thought it cute and not factual. I can taste the humor in it.
I couldn't believe this email I just received from a JW friend.
by codeblue 29 Replies latest jw friends
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SAHS
. . . only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services . . . Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is at the Kingdom Hall!
I guess the above statistic doesn?t take into account all the men, women, and even children who have been arrested by the Gestapo while attending meetings in a makeshift Kingdom Hall in World War 2 Germany, butchered in Kingdom Halls in Malawi, Africa during the 1970s (no doubt because of the political party card issue, relating to the WT?s policy at the time), and, more recently, beaten up with iron crosses in Kingdom Halls in Georgia (Eastern Europe), not to mention numerous other such incidents of persecution in different places at different times while . . . . you guessed it?being in a Kingdom Hall!
(Like my dad says, ?Figures don?t lie, but liars always figure.?)
?SAHS
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AlmostAtheist
My wife and I used to run an email/newsletter thing for Witnesses, publishing whatever submissions we received from the members. This sort of thing was very common. They find something on the internet that says "church" or "pastor", change it to "kingdom hall" or "elder" and send it in. Sometimes they hadn't even bothered to read the whole thing themselves, as shown by the odd "cross" or "hell" reference.
A google search on some phrases from this piece show it all over the place with "church" instead of "kingdom hall". And one says "strip club"!
Dave
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jaredg
how the hell are you supposed to get to the KH? you can't walk, drive, or ride so what do you do...teleport?
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kls
Why would she even care if she would die. That just means she will not have to live through Armageddon.
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Elsewhere
Lets see here...
Going to the KH: 20% for the drive there + 0.001% for time at KH + 20% for drive back. Total of 40.001% chance of dieing from going to the KH.
Staying at home: 17%
Therefore, you are 2.3 time more likely to die going to the KH than staying at home.
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undercover
You will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders. Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is at the Kingdom Hall!
Change that to read:
You will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders. Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is in church!
and I'd bet that is what it used to read before some cutesy JW got ahold of it. I have a friend who considers herself "christian" and is always sending inspirational and religious emails. This one is similar to ones I get from her.
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Happy Guy :)
Why don't you send her back an email comparing the rates of alleged child molestation in the JWs versus say the Catholic church and tell her the conclusion is that the Kingdom Hall is not the safest place to be as she claims.
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BluesBrother
So, your J W friend has a sense of humour.... is that a crime?
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Balsam
That is funny. I need to send that to my sons, they would get a chuckle out of it.