Before You Leave The Witnesses, You MUST Make New Friends!!!

by minimus 55 Replies latest jw friends

  • teejay
    teejay

    Your smartest post, Mini. This one you should keep an eye on.

  • JH
    JH

    I'm not the type to be in groups and I didn't like being a JW because of that. I'm the independent type that likes to be alone. So in my case I didn't have to find new friends in order to be happy and out of the Org.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Thanks for your approval Teej. I'll keep an eye on this one too.

  • koolkeithfl
    koolkeithfl

    i'm getting dfed this thursday, but i don't feel sad i have you guys to chat with, some of my family, local ex-jw friends etc. so i think ill be okay. the elders told me that the reason im so depressed is because i left the truth. little do they know i finally feel alive.

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    Our old friend and philosopher, JT, once wrote that the main reason to do the fade is to buy time to make new friends and develop other interests so when the day comes that you are confronted about leaving dubdom, you won't care what they do to you.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Kool, I'm glad you're here and I hope this will be a new beginning for you! .......JT and I have had this same discussion in the past. It only makes sense to have a good backup!!

  • Redneckgurl
    Redneckgurl

    MIN,

    Yep! I agree completely. The hardest part is trying to re-wire my brain to be friendly and "reach-out" to new people I meet. I am so used to shutting down to avoid friendships with those who are not JW's and you know, I am not sure I even know how. I have had so many conditional friendships that have let me down over the years, backstabbing "friends" who themselves are not even JW's anymore, and it has really hurt me. I have people call me to do things and I find excuses to not go. Then I wonder, why did I do that? What am I afraid of? I used to tell people no, that I couldn't do things with them because I knew I wasn't supposed to. (didn't keep me from having worldly boyfriends though!, lol) Something I am really working on, being a friend............

    My husband and I did decide to try out a couples club though, and WOW! it was great and we met a lot of very friendly people! hahahaha Some of the coolest, non-judgemental, friendly people we have ever met! I am so thankful I have him though, we've been married for 10 years and he is my best friend who left with me. Our DA was announced on the same night (last Xmas day) at the KH.

    --Redneckgurl

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    I never got rid of any of my old so called worldly friends from childhood in the first place. I still have a very dear girlfriend I've known since I was two years old, we were best buds all through jr. high and high school. Besides all of my cousins on both parents sides were "worldly" and I always saw them, in fact it was watching how my cousin's were that made me question JW's and I always compared them to the JW standard of how worldly people are, they simply were the best people, salt of the earth. How could they be bad or be a bad influence on me?

    I always let and encouraged my own kids to have friends outside of the JW's and they as adults still have some of their childhood friends in their lives now as well.

    When I left the B'org for good and the area I lived in I was very involved in a Cycling Club which opened up a whole new base of friends for me it was great and just what I needed at the time.

    Yes Mini it's true you must make new friends when you leave but some of us already had them. Also I think that's really what JWD is for so many who leave with no place to go, we become their extended friends and family.

  • Evesapple
    Evesapple

    I agree...when my sister left just 2 months after me, she lamented that she 'wanted to go back because she wanted friends again.....' and so she did.....

    When I left I had nobody, but I made sure that when I started working again I took advantage of getting to know others at the happy hours after work... it's a process....it didn't happen right away, but there was no way in he** that would ever go back....I would have even been happier alone than to go back.

    Anyway, I have a wonderful group of friends now and their love is truely unconditional......

  • minimus
    minimus

    What exactly is a "couple's club"?

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