by kwintestal 26 Replies latest jw friends
I was always slightly insulted that I never got "the calls". I guess because I was an elder's daughter that I got some sort of special treatment. Once I got df'd, a couple of elders tried to get Jon to study, but they never seemed too interested in me.. ..
Oh, so I have no advice to give. If you ignore them long enough they'll either give up and leave you alone, or df or da you w/o your knowledge or consent.
I totally agree with Blondie
Please follow her advise.......please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am fading and hubby........hubby kept letting the elders/CO/jw friend in.................NOT a good idea especially if you must drop a few bombs because you are so thrilled in learning some pretty incriminating things about the WTBS. Of course, I never say much.....
The last time he let them in..........I told him I would leave the room...I can't handle these "conflicts" anymore.
He has learned that it doesn't accomplish anything.
...and they will be watching you...everywhere!!!
The best thing we could do is to move hundreds of miles away and NEVER go to a meeting....
If you feel you must answer, put on a robe, mess up your hair, rub on some vaporub, grab and kleenex. Make them stand out on the stoop and just hack away for about 10 seconds and say it's not a good time.
oh youre so good Blondie that is classic! lol
Mrs Jones
So Mrs. Kwin, like myself, has started the fade. She's getting visits or calls 2 to 3 times a week from JW's in the hall. What do you do when you get these visits? What do you say when they call?
Why not react according to how the act? If they are sincerely concerned about you and are friendly, return the kindness and friendliness. Remember, they are still "in". They will equate meeting attendance with spirituality. But some of them may be sincere in that they hope you aren't ill or depressed. I have remained friends with a few from the hall, because they were more than cult-mates, they were friends I grew up with. Admittedly, these are few and far between, but I didn't throw the baby out with the bath water. I give each individual a chance to show their true colors.
If they are just "checking up" on you and you sense hostility or if your being judged harshly, temper your friendliness with wariness. These types it's best to avoid. If the elders didn't put them up to it, then they are looking to gossip and tattle on you. Unfortunately, it seems that there are more of these types than the others.
Blondie said what I do,
Phone calls: use caller ID, don't want to answer, let it go through to message. Unknown number, for sure let that go through.
HappyDad
Thanks for the tips. I have a habit of just answering the phone, we live in an apartment building that people have to ring up to be let in (through the phone system), so monitering the calls I'll definately do. Maybe we'll have to keep the KH list near the phone so I can check the ID to see if the name's on the list since I don't know who's in the hall. We'll work through it.
Kwin
put up Chrismas lights?
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
Good luck to you and the Mrs. Kwintestal. Eventually, after you can stop living under their control, freedom should be yours....but you're on your way. I recognize that this statement is easier said than done but don't hang onto any bitterness. Let it go immediatley and keep looking forward- always.
Put up a new door knocker?
Kwin: Lots of good advice!! I have been going through a similar thing. I just say that I can't come to the door, it's not a good time. They have asked through the door, when's a good time? I say It's just not a good time at all right now. I don't answer the calls. I have actually told a few friends how I feel. The actual elders haven't been able to get ahold of me. I feel really rude but it seems to be the only way that's worked for me. The time of year helps too because I'm not working in the yard as much. If you answer the buzzer maybe just say it isn't a good time to talk. Blondie's advice was good too. It's sad that you have to lie but it might be the only way. I liked the door knocker too. lol.
