Hi, JwNOT. I was never a JW, but I can relate to your coming-of-age story. Many regular people go through the same thing, at various ages. Perhaps, though, it is stunted and delayed for many children of JW's as independence is viewed the same as rebellion. Independence is a natural progression to adulthood. Nevertheless, I still frantically dust and tidy my house before dad comes over. Instantly, I am the kid again.
A big revelation I got in my late thirties is that there is not a darn thing my dad can do about it if I go and do my own thing. I got that revelation when I brought home my second kitten. Dad came over to my house, and swore. More cat hair. Which he figured I didn't need. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Dad could swear and scowl and groan, but IT IS MY LIFE. To mess up or tangle or complicate as much as I please.
Of course, you face the double-whammy of shunning. But I figure, since your parents already shun you for no good reason, why not just openly be who you are anyways? Their loss.