I've changed all the names. What do you think? Should I send it? Any suggestions you have are welcome.
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Dear Barry and Laurie,
This isn?t going to be pleasant so I will just come out and say it. It?s come up in my conversations with Julie that when she tries to talk to Susie on the playground that Susie keeps walking away. Julie is of course hurt and confused by this, so I?ve told her that it was probably nothing and to keep being nice. But she?s given up, because it appears that Susie is making a point of shunning Julie. Even an eight year old can figure things out.
This is of course consistent with Laurie?s previously stated stand that Susie couldn?t come over to our house and play with Julie, because you ?needed to watch out for her spirituality.? I have no idea what your thinking that I would do to her or what threat we pose to her. (It?s as ridiculous as telling Susie that she couldn?t go on certain field trips, because the wind is blowing too hard and the bus might tip over, in my opinion. By the way Susie saw right through that.) [Yes this is an actual excuse she used with her daughter to keep her from a school trip]
But clearly you feel a need to take some sort of stand and punish us, because we aren?t going to meetings. But tell me where do you justify having Susie shun Julie? Does it say in the bible that if someone stops going to meetings that you should have your kids stop talking to their kids on the playground ? even if they are blood cousins? I can?t imagine a scenario where I would communicate in some way to Julie to treat Susie in a way to hurt her ? even if I had some hard feelings toward the two of you. Susie is clearly getting this message from you somehow.
Does this make you feel more righteous or that you are taking a stand for Jehovah? Is having Susie play with ?worldly? kids, but not her cousin on the playground safer for her? Is it more loving or more Christian? Or are you trying to send the message that if Julie wants Susie as a friend she needs to come back to the Kingdom Hall? Is emotional blackmail the way to show how much you ?love? someone and want them back?
Love vs. Judging
Of course I can?t help but think of the years that you, Barry, almost never set foot in a Kingdom Hall or the relatively few meetings that Laurie made. And when you did Laurie, you would leave early virtually each time. Did we instruct our kids to shun your Susie? If we did, would that be loving or would that be judging? Or would it be just plan mean?
But like so many Witnesses it is important to judge. Some have taken the principle of disfellowshipping unrepentant fornicators and ?extended the principle? to personally punish people and to feel righteous about it. I wonder, how many meetings would someone have to make before you would give your life for them? How many would they have to miss before you shun them?
We have never been close and I won?t pretend that we share some great affection for each other, but at the same time I have no ill feeling toward the two of you either. Perhaps you harbor some ill feelings toward me and my not going to meetings allows you to act on them? But to reduce this to communicating to you daughter that she should actively shun my daughter at school is beyond my comprehension.
Julie will move on with other friends and I?ve encouraged her to do so, but this is not the sort of thing I can forget.