my parents became jws in 1973. i was 6.my father was a very abusive person wanting to fight anyone and everyone.of course my mother and moreso myself usualy caught the brunt of his abuse.he whipped me with a belt i believe as hard as he could and did not discrimenate as to where he hit youie in the face legs back you get the picture.
well my mom was thrilled when he agreed to study the bible with these nice people.they taught love and i think that was what appealed most to her.my dad was an obsessive compulsive person so he first argued points in the bible with them,but soon found he was no match for them.so he started taking his studies seriously and read the bible like crazy,i mean 5or6 hours at a time every day.
after a while they were baptised and things got better...................for a while.he then became very demanding with regard to studying for the watchtower all the meetings and personal reading.i could barely read,but most of all he became even less tolerant than before.the beatings continued sometimes worse.my mom had called the elders over no less than 6 times in a 5 year period to report his treatment of her and his beating me.
as you may guess the elders did nothing.they sited some scriptures and admonished me to give my father respect.i thoght the elders would help me and make him stop.but they didnt.so i lived life on pins and needles with him going to every meeting studying (well you guys know we studied a lot).until age 16, my father started his fits and i ran away.boy did i go crazy then.worldly people wild parties you name it.to make a long story shorter i was living fot the day because tomorrow i may die.
i was recomended bad association during my absence,i got marrie at age 18 and went back to meetings and wow i was no longer bad association.that marriage lasted 2 years we had a daughter wich we shared custody and a lot of times my mother and father would watch her. well during that period my father abused her sexually.my ex told me about it.said my daughter told her .well stupid me i didnt believe it and i guess the elders didnt either because they did nothing.
i was never baptised and drifted away again.flash to 1 year ago now married 10 years 3 more children and who knocks on the door you guessed it watchtower toting smily faced jws.well i always believed and carried guilt around all the time.so of course a agree to a study soon i have the whole family studying.the elder i studied with kept telling me i would be an elder soon,i didnt understand then how that could be.i soon realised that was his way of motivating me.well my world crashed down when my 2nd oldest daughter was molested by my father.i never should have trusted him to watch her and i feel enormous guilt.
my father did this while innactive but almost immediately he went back to jws like nothing happened.i wont go into some of the drama between him and myself but bottom line the elders were told and he was reproved he admitted to sexual misconduct and all that happened was restrictions.they said he could never go in field service by himself but he does.he will never be an elder but other than that he is a member in good standing.this stumbled my wife and i greatly.in the interim the elder from our seperate congregation (not my fathers) was in a big rush to have my same 12 year old daughter baptised.well she was at the summer convention.
i later found out that he was up for promotion to circuit ovsr.while a very good teacher you could tell he was all about position. my wife bought crisis of conscience and slowly had me reading it too. she wasnt raised a jw.well after she got in search of christian freedom i was in full blown doubt.i looked up many watchtower articles especially regarding the faithful and discreet slave.being well prepared we invited the elder over and was that ever interesting.
he actualy said that if he was in the jws at 1935 or below he would have left.he said he wasnt ready to jump ship without a lifeboat.his wife was livid and displayed the typical horror of apostate lit.my mention of the word cult caused a change in personality like ive never seen in a person before.usualy a bubbly warm person looked at me and my wife like we were satan himself.well ive been babbling for toooo long sorry. the wife and i and the rest of the family are looking forward to a new life. thankyou for listening and may you find true happiness..
ko38