a little confused....

gerbils

I've been brought up as a JW, and I am now 20 years old, am away from home at university and have an agnostic boyfriend. Not your ideal JW girl by any means! All my JW mates are baptised now, and I've managed to hold off til now. Until I was about 16 I never really questioned anything that I had been taught, but since the pressure to get baptised began to get strong I've been slowly realising that I know nothing at all! I believe there's a creator, and thats where I get stuck. I have this horrible feeling that I could be like this forever, never being able to progress any further, always going along to meetings so as not to upset my family, and never being able to bring myself to baptism like everybody expects. I refuse to get baptised just to satisfy other peoples expections...

I would be interested to know if there is anybody in a similar situation? Or anybody who has dealt successfully with it? Please help

frenchbabyface

Welcome !!

I have this horrible feeling

Yeah we had it too ... and ended up here too ...
don't worry you'll get replies ...

Gill

Good for you girl, sticking up for yourself!

I wish I had had the guts to defy my parents and others and not get baptised! My husband feels the same.

Twenty five years ago however, and especially if you had been in the JW's your whole life it was not so easy.

We believed what we were told to believe and didn't want to get into trouble with the elders etc and lose friends, relatives, etc.

If only we had been as strong.

Stick to what you believe and don't believe, for that matter.

If you don't get baptised you'll save yourself a lot of hastle as regards disassociating and disfellowshiping in the coming years and your family will gradually get its head around your new situation.

Well done! Don't worry about it either. It will all pan out.

gerbils

hmmm....I wouldn't call myself brave! I'd say I was more of a coward...sitting and rocking back and forth on the fence.

But I can fully understand how much more difficult it is when your baptised! Urg. Thankyou :)

whyamihere

Dear Gerbils:

I too felt like you did. I went along with everything just to please my family. I thought it was the right thing to do and that is so false. Making such a huge step to anything you should know all facts and base everything on your feelings. However, I did get baptized thinking it would be the only way to please everyone and still thinking well its the truth and the right thing to do. For me it was not I was living a lie and I fully regret it to this day. I regret it so much now because I now know what the truth is.

I too believe there is a creator but I believe in just that for now. I think it matters what a person does in life now how many meetings you go to and how much service time you have. I think thats all wrong because you can lead such a double life but if those hours are in everything is fine. I think that is backwards. I didn't see Jesus marking in his time and saying hours count. How you live as a person god sees that and he knows.

Do alot of reading and soul searching if I were you. You are 20 you have so many years and life ahead of you don't throw it away with pleasing and doing what someone else would want you to do. Yes it is easier said than done. Just find yourself and do what makes you happy because at the end of the day if you can live with your mistakes and choices thats what should matter. You need to be happy with you.

I need to do the same thing I am only 24 but I am married and have 2 kids. I am young and I need for once to live for me and not for others. I hope you find what you are looking for and whatever it maybe just be happy and know what you are getting into.

Brooke WI

Leolaia

It's a very smart thing to wait until you are sure, especially since the "dedication" of baptism is meant to also be to "God's organization" (check out how the baptismal vows are worded), so that if you are disfellowshipped they would have legal rights to shun you, which they would not have as leverage if you are simply unbaptised.

If they ask you why not get baptised, just remind them of the example set by Jesus Christ who did not become baptised until he was 29!

BTW, I also never got baptised as a Witness and am thankful for it....

Doubtfully Yours

Strong girl. Good for you!

I got baptized at a very young age just to please my parents and keep everybody happy. I'm paying dearly for it now.

Keep holding strong to your true desires.

DY

gerbils

The 'Jesus was 30 before he got baptised' one is fantastic! I intend to use that one. I just don't feel that its fair for people to apply pressure over personal choice...and a big decision!!! In my opinion being able to get baptised under 18 is a little worrying anyway. It's around that age that most people start to have a proper think about things anyway, and if they're baptised when they decide that they don't actually believe it then it causes a ridiculous amount of problems! I feel bad for those people like Dy who this happened to. What happened exactly?

OldSoul

Try asking those pressuring you whether you should get baptized to please them, or whether you should wait until you are certain you want to serve Jehovah. A direct approach may save you and your family a lot of heartache later, and anything you decide should be based on your informed choice.

NewLight2

You might want to check out these two pages. The first one contains many links to important information regarding the Watchtower Society.

NewLight2's Links Page

Johannes Greber's Home Page

a little confused....

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