should i move out?

crizlee

my situation is getting worse, i told my parents im going to move out in 6 months once i turn 18 whether i get to go to college or enlist into the navy. my over zealous mom says that i can move out tomorrow. now i have lots of friends at school, ive only hung out with few not that long but ive known em forever, should i burden them with me asking to move in with them? or just wait 6 months? i applied for this naval RTOC scholarship that will pay for everything in college to the college i get admitted too. im hoping i get accepted it would be my dream. im hoping to get accepted to the college i want to go to, and this scholarship. i could so be out by may and mvoe on with my life.

Valis

Hi criz...if I were you I would look for a part time job you could do so could finish w/school and keep yourself busy away from the house. My first job saved me I think. My story is very similar to yours. If you want to enlist right after high school then good for you. See some of the world, serve your country, and get an education. Nothing wrong with that at all. If you can tough it out then that would be my suggestion, or get a job and then ask your friends for help. You don't want to be a burden on people or necessarily involve them in messed up family business. Just my two cents from been there done that land.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

karategirl

I agree with Valis. Life in the real world as adult will come all too quickly. You need to focus on finishing school and taking advantage of the free education. Being at home may have the stress and crap with having JW parents but trust me, being on your own is hard. Even if you could find a friend that would let you stay with them you don't know that it would last. you don't want to be bouncing around from friend to friend or even spending nights in cars and such. You are too young to get your own place, no one would rent to you.

Unless your home is dangerouse, stick it out. Begin your adventure after you have your diploma in hand. Oh and continue building those friendships.

KG

gdt

Hi. Just remember, without any qualifications, who it was that said:"Remember your father and your mother"..."the first command with a promise."...Then please remember what the promise itself was, before you take off doing your own thing. Please take time to make the right decision, for everybody's sake.

gdt. (not 65 for nothing!!)

Valis

Remember your father and your mother

yeah you can remember them just like animals do. They move on and establish their own territory when the parents turn on the up and coming youth. Parents are not the be all and end all when it comes to your life choices. When your parents decide it is in your or their best interest to not let you grow spiritually on your own all bets are off PERIOD. They are the ones that many times don't have the guts to value blood over religion and vice versa. Children shun parents for sure. I have much compassion for those much like I do the mentally incapacitated, but I still choose to not let them govern my life. AND just like I did at 17 I had a job, finished High School and got on with my life, even after I took my smack down for standing up and saying "I AM OUT OF HERE!"

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

under74

crizlee, I'm with Valis on this as well. It's always going to be a little hard when you're on your own for the first time but you don't want to make it crazy hard. I think having something else to do that gets you out of the house like a job is a good idea. For the time that isn't occupied by school or a job or whatever you can find to fill it-lay low the best you can. I know what it's like to have a JW parent lording over you and the best thing I can think of is to try an avoid any unneeded confrontations in the next few months.

redhotchilipepper

Crizlee: I agree with Valis as well. Boy we're all backing him tonight, aren't we. Go Valis. I wouldn't stay at home. The environment sounds too negative for you. Your education should be your top priority. Enlisting would be a good experience I'm sure. Travel,save some money, and serve your country. I agree with Karategirl, try not to move around from friends places too much. Stability is always a good thing. You'll need that to concentrate on your studies. A part time job before you take the plunge of moving out would probably be advisable. Maybe instead of 6 months, if that time frame seems too long for you, try 3 months. That would be a mental happy medium for you and you could save some money at the same time. It would be nice to leave on good terms with the folks. I know it's hard but I'm sure they love you and just want what they think/feel is best for you. Even if we know it isn't, right? ((((hugs)))) RHCP- Let us know what you decide.

lisavegas420

I know everyone is with Valis on this one, about sticking it out. But I think if you are downright miserable and staying with them will make you depressed, Do you have the option of staying with a friend for a couple weeks.

I have had several of my childrens friends stay with us while things were not going good at their own home. Some of the parents actually came and thanked me for letting them stay there, things were just too volatile at home. With most, after a reprieve, things calmed down at home and they went back.

Lisa<-------*had no where to go class, and had to stick it out.

under74

I don't know Lisa...sometimes what you speak of can backfire and I think crizlee, so long as he's safe in his parents home, should stick it out. From what I gather in another thread from crizlee is that he's at least able to throw out his opinion (as far as evolution goes)....so unless crizlee says otherwise the circumstances may be difficult but they aren't to where he should start staying at other peoples home and possibly screw up what he can do in a few months e.g. college.

lisaBObeesa

I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and it was difficult. I did it, but it was difficult. And I had some really really great support from some friends...friends who were on the right path in life if you know what i mean...(not partying friends). I could not stay at home one more second.

It sounds like you are making good plans. If I were you, I would wait out those 6 months at home IF IT IS POSSIBLE, making even more plans, getting ready, saving money. And you need to graduate high school. Also, you need a plan B in case the ROTC thing doesn't pan out. Make plans, and back-up plans. Ask those friends and their parents if you can stay there in an emergency (like if mom and dad kick you out one night or something) or if you can stay with them for a few months when you turn 18. Tell them how long you would need to stay and what your plans are. (Not, "Hey man, can I crash at your pad for a while?" lol!)

You have a lot to do. If you move out now, you will have even more stress. You can handle it, if you need to. The question is, do you need to?

Keep posting here!

and GOOD LUCK! And Merry Christmas!

-LisaBOBeesa

should i move out?

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