RAGE ... trying not to give in ...

by dedalus 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Cygnus

  Hey, man, I'm totally sorry about your circumstance. That sucks.

  As many here know, I totally lucked out in that my parents don't shun me. When I got DF'd last year, both Mom and Dad told me that they love me and this wouldn't change anything. I know for a fact that my Dad would hang himself on a cross to save my soul if he had to.

  I honestly don't know who to feel more sorry for, Ded. You, or your Dad. I have a very difficult time believing, knowing you as I do, that your Dad really _wants_ to be treating you in this manner. The conundrum he is facing must be very difficult to deal with.

  The way I'd approach the situation is to flat out tell your Dad, Look, I'm your son, I will always be your son, I love you, you love me, this is the way it is, this is the way it's going to be, I need you, you need me, please accept it, and let's be a family.
• 

  Billygoat

  Cygnus,

  I'm glad to hear that your parents haven't shunned you. My do to a degree, but like you, feel lucky to have a relationship with them at all. I wish more parents would take a stand like yours. Where in the Bible did Jesus teach that to his followers - to shun family. Out of all the JW teachings, that is the one that gets me the most riled up.

  Dedalus,

  Keep your chin up. God will bless you 10-fold like he did Job as long as you are TRUE to Him in your heart!

  Billygoat
• 

  dedalus

  Hey, thanks everyone for all of your remarks and suggestions. That was really nice.

  When I do talk to him, I'll be calm, somehow. Although I want to hurt him -- badly -- I somehow can't see myself stooping in this case (not that I'm above stooping ). "You're shunning me? Well, I'm shunning you back!"

  What I think I'll do, after one more conversation, is leave him alone until the baby is born. Who can resist babies? It won't be his first grandchild -- either his second or third, depending on how soon my sister-in-law delivers. But I don't think the novelty wears off. Or does it?

  Meanwhile, my father did call here tonight, while I was at class. He talked to my fiancee, asked why I had left a message, and when she told him, declared, "I don't want to discuss this." He then proceeded to discuss it, extolling the folly of our sin-laden ways. Not once in the entire conversation did he ask how Foxy was doing. He doesn't even know, I think, that she was in the ER last week (she's okay now -- a bit of dehydration because of the heat, plus raging pregnancy hormones wreaking havoc on her body).

  For now, I'm gonna write a long letter, perhaps one with all the vulgarities I try not to permit myself in the real world (most of the time) ... then I'm going to get some sleep.

  Thanks all,

  Dedalus
• 

  Duncan

  Hey Dedalus,

  Thanks for posting this. I think there's plenty of good advice been given in this thread, and I certainly can't think of anything else to add. I'm lucky that this kind of situation has never really occurred in my half-in half-out family.

  Anyway, I hope it all works out for you. Maybe, as you say, the birth of the baby might make some difference with him.

  All the best

  Duncan.
• 

  slipnslidemaster

  Ded, phone EVERY relative and tell them the truth and how you are being shunned, jws HATE when they are made to look abnormal. And let your father know that every one knows.

  Very good advice. Also, I totally agree with treating him with complete lack of serious emotion. I think that the the "Disappointed" route is the best way.

  Another thing is that he is only "someone" in the Borg. In the real world he is a brainwashed cult member. They don't get shown that they look like that a whole lot and by doing the above, even that brief glimse may be the seed.

  Slipnslidemaster: "But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near."
  - Andrew Marvell