Haven't seen a KM in a while, but this blew me away!

by Nosferatu 23 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Nosferatu

  I went to my parents place last night and the January KM was laying on the table. Naturally, I browsed it. Didn't see anything but the same old dribble I saw 8 years ago. However, one thing really surprised me.

  On the back of the KM, there was a column which gave you presentations for each of the magazines that are to be placed in FS for that month. Is it really that bad? Has the WT quit encouraging the publishers to read the magazines and has given them such an easy route?

  Truly, you don't have to think in this organization. You're fed a statement, and instructions on how to carry it out. It's just like programming a computer.

  10 Put on meeting clothes
  20 Get bookbag$
  30 Read KM
  40 If KM=month/day/year goto 60
  50 goto 30
  60 goto field service group
  70 get territory$
  80 goto car
  90 goto door
  100 Print"Good morning! My name is Vic-20. Have you ever wondered why this world is such a mess?"
  110 Input householder$
  120 Ignore householder$
  130 Print"This magazine tells us how there is hope in a world that is in such a mess. If you would like to read it, I'd be happy to leave them with you."
  140 Input householder$
  150 If householder$ = "Not Interested" goto 200
  160 Print"We support our work with voluntary donations. If you would like to leave one, it would be greatly accepted"
  170 input money$
  180 if money$ = 0 then goto 200
  190 Put money into contribution box
  200 Print"Okay, thank you for your time. Have a nice day"
  210 goto 90

  I used to be an awesome BASIC programmer. Hell, I could program a JW!
• 

  ThisGuy04

  LMFAO

  Nosferatu , that is GOLD!!!

  careful though, i'd hate for that code to fall into the wrong hands...
• 

  Sassy

  actually I loved when they put those presentations in the KM.. I hated putting together presentations.. and I hated even more service..
• 

  slimboyfat

  Not only do they print the instructions on the KM, but every two weeks two "volunteers" (read: unfortunates armtwisted by the elders) need to demonstrate how this presentation of the mags should be done in practice.

  Witness orientation is definitely geared toward the hard of understanding...
• 

  JustTickledPink

  Why don't they pay people to ring doorbells, just like the Salvation Army pays their people to ring the donation bells... maybe then people would actually WANT to go door-to-door.
• 

  OldSoul

  That was hilarious, nos4atu! I only found one line of code you'll have to debug:

  150 If householder$ = "Not Interested" goto 200

  It should read:

  150 If householder$ = "Not Interested" Then HTHRecord$ = "NI"

  We are instructed to ask for donations even if not interested. We're supposed to ask for money so the rest of your code would be right with this one fix. I haven't asked for a single donation in six years. Less than $10 in 8 years.

  I was with a pioneer once and the lady of the house donated a can of corn. After we left, I LAUGHED SO HARD! I couldn't stop! Then the pioneer said that it was a blessing for him, because he couldn't put it in the contribution box anyway! AHHHH-HAh-ha-hahhh!
• 

  FairMind

  When they began putting suggested presentations in the KM I was initially set back. I had always taken my door-to-door sermonizing seriously and felt the effort required to put together one's own presentations sharpened you. I think the canned presentations are the result of CO's recommendations based on the quality (or lack of) of the presentations they had observed when working with different publishers. Lack of interest in FS activity is the real root of this.

  FM
• 

  Mary

  On the back of the KM, there was a column which gave you presentations for each of the magazines that are to be placed in FS for that month. Is it really that bad?

  They've done that for a while now.......probably because they think everyone's presentation sucks.

  We are instructed to ask for donations even if not interested.

  Oh brother, how embarassing, and I guarantee that no body does. Can you just see that conversation?

  Householder: No thank you I'm not interested.

  Dub: That's fine, but just to let you know that we are accepting anything that can be converted to cash donations to help offset our legal fees for all the pedophile cases we've got against us promote our world wide Witnessing. Would you care to make a contribution towards our coffee break? Why the hell not you cheap bastard!
• 

  Brummie

  Dub: That's fine, but just to let you know that we are accepting anything that can be converted to cash donations to help offset our legal fees for all the pedophile cases we've got against us promote our world wide Witnessing. Would you care to make a contribution towards our coffee break? Why the hell not you cheap bastard!

  Hahaaha!

  Nos, I think they have been doing that in the KM for years. They also give demonstrations from the platform to show pioneers how to dress up in the winter, they are so darn programmed, send them a trojan.

  Great
• 

  Stephanus

  110 Input householder$
  120 Ignore householder$

  LOL