by Brummie 26 Replies latest jw friends
I got a letter from the court last week telling me that a decree of our divorce will be read at the courts on the 8th of Dec, does that mean thats it now? Or is there other decrees read out or something? It stated that neither of us have to be at the court since we have no differences to settle....
I dont know what reading the decree means, am I divorced or not? My stomach turns..
Brummie
Brummie:I don't know, but keep me filled in by PM or summit, will ya? It was my understanding that divorce couldn't be sued for until I'd been separated two years (which is still quite a few months away).
Decree Nisi and Decree Fini, spring to mind, for some reason (nasty latin stuff!)
When I got a divorce many, many moons ago, I first got a Decree Nisi, and later, a Decree Absolute. The Absolute bit was permanent. Perhaps someone like Narkissos could translate what that really means. Nowadays, I don't think they make you wait. But perhaps UK law is a little more antiquated than Canadian law. But we should be closer than American law.
Brummie, is this being served on you without any input from you?
http://www.courtservice.gov.uk/you_courts/divrfam/divorce/index.htm
Liltoe, we have only been seperatd since July 28th, my wifey didnt go for divorce until the end of August. The Solicitors told her that she had no reason to divorce me unless we had been seperated for 2 years, however, they worked it out that we could seperate on the grounds of incompatibilty, they called it unreasonable behaviour, yet we never even argued. We just went out seperate ways. I'll let you know.
Brummie
Brummie, is this being served on you without any input from you?
Yes it is really Jgnat, I never even got a solicitor cus I dont want to fight with my wife even now, I just signed the letters to say I have no arguments with whatever she said. I still think she is acting on a whim because I left the matrimonial home to give us both a break. She seemed unhappy and I wanted to give her the space, in hindsight I should have stayed, perhaps that was the biggest insult to a woman, she is great but we just got it all wrong. Well *I* certainly got it all wrong.
Brumm
We looked at the "unreasonable behaviour" clause, but apparently the solicitors wouldn't touch it because our main cause was because of religious differences (i.e. me leaving the JW's). I guess it's slightly different for you both as you both left the JW's.
I'll let you know.
Thanks, I'd appreciate that.
Thanks, I'd appreciate that.
Ok, I will ask my wife (or ex-whatever) to get in touch with her solicitor and find out what it all means. Sorry you are going through the same kinda thing.
Brummie
Well, if she is acting on a whim, perhaps you can make her wait the two years. After all, that is what that cooling off period is for. I figure, all you need to let the judge know is that you are willing to work on your problems. Cheeze Louise, when guys grieve, all sense goes out their ears (or elsewhere). It might be a good idea to sit down with a lawyer and find out what your rights are.
when guys grieve, all sense goes out their ears
Now THAT is very true
Brummie
I know, I've seen it, Brummie. I was part of a divorce recovery group for many years. After the girls got tired of listing all our complaints and bitterness, we started to work on rebuilding ourselves, our own self worth. I started to take note of the guys' pain in the group, and I found out that big truth. Guys grieve differently. They stand outside the woman's window howling at the moon and begging to be forgiven. They do incredibly stupid things to make sure she would never take him back. Guys don't talk about it, they just get weird.
And, sometimes, they grab the twentysomething secretary, the life savings, and take off to Tahiti to avoid paying alimony.
