How many here grew up JW but had worldly friends?

by Jez 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  franklin J

  I was not permitted to have any wordly friends growing up; neither were my two older sisters.

  When I was about 10, while on a family vacation in Miami Beach back in 1966 , my then 17 year old sister met a boy from France named Ramez. Evidently; Ramez was 19 or 20 years old, and touring the USA with his parents that summer. He was not a Jehovahs Witness . Unbeknown to my parents, a budding romance grew on the days we all spent on the beach; innocent stuff. Ramez was a nice boy; a student from the Sorbonne in Paris. His family was also very nice.

  When his family came to Long Island later that summer ( where we lived) , Ramez called my sister to arrange to see her. My mother ( the theocratic "witness") answered the phone and asked him what congregation he was from. The poor boy ( who spoke excellent English) answered that he was Catholic. And that was all my mother had to hear. She forbade my sister to see him; and made sure that she did not. In her " great theocratic" self rightoeous fervor she began a tyrannical tirade about "wordly influences". I remember as a kid ; my mother having a vicious fight with my sister; who subsequently rebelled and refused to go to anymore meetings. Alas, my sister was not strong enough to resist the immediate family and extended family pressures and after 2 years of being a non JW; she came back with such devotion that she full time pioneered.

  Of course, years later we all left. But I cannot forget that summer when I learned from her experience that there would be NO wordly influences in any of our lives. Best intentions Mom; but BIG mistake....
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  Mulan

  I had lots of worldly friends (remember it was the 50's and 60's for me). My best girlfriend went to school with me from 6th grade on. We still see each other every few years when she and her husband come back to Seattle. We email all the time. My mother really liked her and she spent a lot of time at our house and I spent a lot of time at her house. She was a Christian and a regular church goer, so there was no conversion talk.

  I had other friends that I've lost touch with, but always played with neighborhood kids and friends from school.

  And I dated worldly guys.
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  bull01lay

  Most of my school years friends were 'worldly'. And yes, I tried witnessing to them on occasion, but for the most part just enjoyed their company. Most of them I still keep in touch with, by email for the most part, but we have occasional reunions etc.

  Bull!
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  glitter

  I got on with *some* JW kids, but most were either really holier-than-thou or were living double lives and were bad news so I didn't make friends with many or stay friends with those I did.
  
  There was a JW girl in the other half of my year who I said hey to in the corridors and sometimes saw at lunch, but the vast majority of my friends were nice worldly kids of a variety of denominations.
  
  My mum's best friend is worldly, they have been best friends since they were 12.
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  Incense_and_Peppermints

  nope.

  never.

  no relationships with any worldly people of any kind.

  if we were forced to come into contact with worldly people at oh, say, restaurants or theaters, in and out as quickly as possible while saying as little as possible to them was the way to go. it was as if you could get infected with some vile disease just by coming into contact with them. one time we went to LA, and had breakfast at this little diner on the strip by our hotel. i remember this tall blonde man with really long hair walked in and sat at the breakfast bar. he looked like a biker. he looked over at us and kept staring. i think because we were right in front of this big picture window and he was looking at the sun and traffic, who knows? but my sister who was the self-imposed boss of the family said we had to leave immediately because she didn't like that guy looking at us. she paid the hostess for our breakfasts even though they hadn't served them to us yet. that is so f***ed-up...
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  whyamihere

  I did!

  Nothing wrong with it......there are good people everywhere!

  I am sure Mother Teresa would not molest me! ..........Michael!

  Brooke WI
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  freedom96

  I never got to have "worldy" friends.

  The only time I got to have fun with them was at school, or work. Other than that, all my associations were witnesses.
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  Poztate

  I had lots of worldly friends (remember it was the 50's and 60's for me)

  I remember the same as Mulan. I hung around the kids in the neighbourhood and at school. We played together,went to movies and generally had a good time. I was never told to only be with witness kids and my Dad never worried about it or talked about it at all. They didn't have elders way back then but Dad seemed to be in "charge" of the MS and was always bringing home the written reviews to be graded by % and handed back to the student. AH...The good old days...They didn't like any to have "failing grades"

  It spite of this "worldly friends" were not an issue. It shows how much the grip of the cult has increased over the years.
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  Hecklerboy

  I had a mix of "worldly" and "witness" friends. I actually made the decision on my own to stop hanging out with one of my "witness" friend. He started huffing gas and smoking (not at the same time ). I just didn't want to be around that. I'm still friends with with the rest of them. Of course my other "witness" friend is now DF'd and we talk allot on the phone. I'm still close to my worldly friends, even had one as my best man in my wedding.

  It was funny how my mom was so strict about not letting my play sports in school or go to dances, but she never stopped me from have my friends.
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  jws

  Most of my friends were worldly friends and I think it helped when I left. We lived on the very outskirts of our congregation's territory. In fact, we may not have even been in our congregation's territory. So, all the kids at the hall lived across town and none of them went to our schools. It helped having a brother so close in age, but we also played with the girl a couple of houses down. We were the only kids on our block.

  That tradition continued throughout school. I was quiet and shy and most of my friends wound up being the quiet and shy kinds too. Pretty much the nerds that the "in" crowd picked on. But, they were nice kids and mostly smart kids.

  When we were teenagers, we did get more involved with at least a couple of JW friends, at our parent's urging. One "friend" was a guy from another hall. Our moms had been in the same hospital room together when we were born and he was only a day older (and never let me forget it). So our moms kind of pushed us into being friends because of this bond. We got along alright as preschoolers, but then we moved away. I didn't see much of him for years until I got to high school and he was in my high school. I thought great, a JW to hang around with. My old buddy. Problem was, this guy had turned into a bonafide juvenile delinquent. He had me cutting class. He smoked, drank, and did drugs. He was always on the search for sex and, contrary to his "claims", I don't think he ever got any. Problem was, part of this rebelious side appealed to my 13-year-old self. It was a time to start seeing the world and I (at the time) thought he might show me how to find girls. Because I was with my JW friend, my parents thought everything was great. I was being taught to be a juvenille delinquent by a Jehovah's Witness. So much better than my "worldly" friends who didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't do drugs, didn't cut class, and were into computers. Thanks mom!

  But later in high school, I had a lot of worldly friends. Some of which I still hang around with when I'm back in town. When it came time for me to leave the JWs, that whole aspect of losing your friends didn't hurt me much. Some of the people my age at the hall shunned me before I left. Others were just people I made small-talk with. There were maybe only one or two that I was going to miss. I hear one of them has faded away. The other never liked being a JW, but went through the motions - it was just something he did. Last I heard, he's still in, but I think he was either seperated or divorcing his wife. Depending the circumstances and whether he starts a new relationship, he could end up DFed.