I've been trying to change the way I think of forgiveness. I used to think of forgiveness as a way of making amends with someone who has caused harm to me or someone I care about. In a way, "forgiveness" has been used in a sense of excusing a wrong that was committed or saying to someone "it's OK, I forgive you."
Some things - violence against innocent people, murder, rape, child abuse, spousal abuse, elder abuse, spiritual abuse (among others) - will NEVER be "OK". There's no way these things can be justified, rationalized or made "OK".
However, if I carry the burden of anger and resentment for having been victimized in any of these forms, it makes it more difficult to heal, more difficult to move on and be the person I have the potential to be. Forgiveness is for MY benefit alone, and it's an active choice that I make to let the issue go in order to regain a sense of peace and wholeness for myself. It's about telling myself that "It doesn't matter what so-and-so did to me, I am going to stop being his victim and live my life the way I want to, unhindered by what that person inflicted on me."
It doesn't mean that I have to associate in any way with the person who wronged me. It doesn't even mean that I have to inform the person that I have moved on in spite of the harm they brought to me. I just move on and live up to my potential, knowing that I do not have to continue to be haunted and held hostage by what happened.
It also doesn't happen overnight... I'm still working on getting there.