Not in the truth, but haunted by it...

confuzzed

i am having trouble dealing with this little voice in the back of my head telling me that if i don't go back to meetings i won't go to the new system and everything i am doing is wrong blah blah blah. although i have agreed to a study i believe it is more to shut up this little voice rather than because i want to be a witness again. but if i don't go back i have to deal with this horrible feeling all the time. is it just that it has been so inground in me that i can't see past it??

under74

"is it just that it has been so inground in me that i can't see past it??"

I would say yes. All I can say is that you have serious questions about it and it might do you good to distance yourself from the Witnesses long enough to figure out why it is that you're in fear. I know it's scarey because you believe what you've been told by the WTS but if you give it some time and distance you'll be able to make a better informed decision about whether or not the JWs are right and whether or not you want to be a part of the religion. I wish I had more to say to you...

I wish you all the best.

AK - Jeff

How long were you a witness confuzzed?

That is a common prob. with many that have been in a long time - or steeped in it since childhood. I was an active witness for 30 years - and it takes a toll. I, intelectually know, that the scenario you describe is not true, since I know from the facts that I have seen that Jw's cannot be the exclusive mouthpeice of God. But in my gut I still deal with what you describe - it has been sounded into my depths after decades of mind control

Remember, for witnesses there is almost no other source of information - we get sequestered and only read the witness propaganda. It has an impact. From what I see on this forum and in other places, you can get over that feeling of guilt and peril - but obviously many never can get it washed out of their hair entirely. Hence this forum, and many that have been out for years still need assurance that it is ok to let go of the fantasy.

Some go back - that is personal choice - but I could not, knowing what I know now.

Welcome to the forum.

Jeff

franklin J

I have heard that little voice also.....

the way I dealt with it was to not only distance myself from everything and anything JW related; but I also kept myself VERY BUSY....

I suggest that you join a club; civic group; get involved with your community; meet new people ; have new positive experiences , etc. The idea is that if you continue to grow as a person without the JW networking, life takes on different meaning. It actuallly becomes smoother ; less condeming ;and you are in control of your own destiny. Is not that the way it should be?

good luck, Frank

confuzzed

hi again

i am 25 years old and was in the 'truth' until i was 19. i left because of issues with elders and so called loving brothers and sisters. for the years leading up until now i busied myself with everything i was not supposed to do only to find myself in a lot of trouble. i still keep busy running my own business and looking after my husband and that's when these little 'voices' started coming back again. i find it hard to ignore these teachings although every little part of me wants to.

but i do believe it is true that considering i was brought up in the truth it is hard for me to accept that it is all wrong even though i want to just to get a minutes peace

under74

"...i was brought up in the truth it is hard for me to accept that it is all wrong..."

I know, I was brought up in it too. It's hard to get over...I'm proof of that, my family left when I was a teen and it's been years and I'm still dealing with it. I don't have fears about whether or not the JWs are right anymore. I think time and distance helped me as well as learning about different religions and religious history helped to put things in perspective.

AlmostAtheist

I think what I found attractive about JW's was that they could disprove what other religions believed, and they could prove what they believed, using the Bible. That seemed so powerful to me at the time (I was 16). Trouble is, I never went to those other religions and asked them to explain it. I talked to a few members of those churches, but they weren't well-informed about their faith and didn't have any answers. It seemed that the Witnesses were bang on right.

Only years later did I begin to question those doctrines. Doesn't the Bible warn us not to go beyond what is written? (1 Cor. 4:6) So where does the Bible tell us not to celebrate birthdays? They have a lame excuse for it, but the Bible never tells Christians not to do it. It's a made-up rule, going beyond what is written. (See full write up on birthdays at http://www.thebentinel.com/jw-birthdays.html)

What about blood? The Bible says to "abstain from blood", right? (Acts 15:29) Not exactly. In Acts 15:29, it says to "keep abstaining from things sacrificed to idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication." Note that they were being told to 'keep' doing it. It wasn't a new law, or a revision of a law, it was telling them to keep following these laws that they already obeyed. So by saying 'abstain from blood', they were continuing the law given to Noah to not EAT blood. Some carry that 'abstain from blood' phrase to the point where you'd think we weren't even allowed to touch it. But if a strangled animal was on your doorstep, do you think God expects you to leave it there forever, to 'abstain from it'? Hardly. The law was meant to keep Christians from eating unbled meat.

Of course, Witnesses say that a blood transfusion is like eating the blood. After all, it goes into your body either way, and if a doctor told you not to drink alcohol, would it be ok to inject it into your veins? Well, that's an illustration OF their point, it doesn't MAKE their point. For instance, if a doctor told you not to eat liver, would you still be able to get a liver transplant? Blood is an organ (a fact acknowleged by the Watchtower) and a transfusion is a transplant of that organ. Just like the liver, you aren't "eating" blood when you accept a transfusion. There may be medical risks inherent to accepting blood, but they have nothing to do with the religious issue.

There's two central doctrines of their faith that you can easily blow away using the Bible and some reasoning. Why not ask the person conducting your study to explain them? But don't just accept whatever reasoning they give you, really think it through. Does it make sense? Do the scriptures they cite actually support the position they take?

I believe that after you look at them critically for awhile, the fears you have of going against them will lessen.

Take care,

Dave

redskymedic

I dealt with the same feelings for years. I was raised as a JW, left for good when I was 21. I am 30 now and up until I started 'investigating' their doctrines I had the same nagging voice in the back of my head. I have just come to the realization that I've pretty much been duped all these years and have been beating myself up for nothing. My suggestion to you, would be to look into the basis of their doctrines and check for yourself as to whether or not they seem backed up by the bible. We were always told that looking for answers elsewhere pretty much amounted to apostasy. Now I realize that they didn't want us discovering that many teachings don't hold up to even common reasoning. Good luck to you and I hope that you can find the peace you are looking for.

garybuss

Apparently quite a few people like being a Witness and are able to continue to fantasize in spite of all of the disconfirmations. I understand more than a few people at Jones Town drank the coolaide thinking Jim Jones was the Jewish messiah even though he wasn't even Jewish.

After I investigated the Watch Tower Publishing Corporation and read the works of Nelson Barbour and Charles Russell and saw Rutherford and Knorr turn it into a publishing empire there was no doubt in my mind that I had anything to fear from the Witness group.

All of my fear and beliefs were based on ignorance and the Watch Tower Publishing Corporation wants to keep Witness people ignorant. That's why they have such rigid controls in place to control reading and associations.

I'd advise looking deep into Witnessism by reading books like Crisis Of Conscious and Captives Of A Concept and then look at theism itself and read works like The Age Of Reason and look at the real Judaism by studying festivals and Biblical times manners and customs. That showed me how far in la la land Witness writers and apologists are.

It all took time but I had to do it away from the Witness group and I'm glad I did. I hope it all works out the way you want and you can live a long happy life. GaryB

logansrun

There's a lot of information out there and I would highly suggest looking into what is said about Jehovah's Witnesses, "cults", the Bible (from a skeptical perspective) and social psychology (to deal with that "little voice").

Remember something very important, though -- feelings are not facts.

B.

Not in the truth, but haunted by it...

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