Putting myself in "time-out."

by Odrade 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  Odrade

  I think I need a time out. I feel like whatever contributions I may make to this board are being outweighed by the emotional upheaval participating is causing me. I've been taking things way too personally lately, letting posters I don't know and don't particularly care about, hurt my feelings badly. I've gotten into hostile, angry exchanges with several people, and been taking it out on real-life friends and family.

  I don't know what is going on with me right now emotionally, maybe just another step in the process, but right now, this is not a good and healthy place for me to be. What's a timeout? I don't know, but I have a super-long list of chores and errands to accomplish, so maybe I'll just use that. I'll stay off the board until I get my chores done, then see how I feel. I'm hoping I feel better by then.

  To the posters who have become real-life friends, either through email or pm-- (and you know who you are, I hope), I'll miss you, and I'll be back soon, cause I don't want to lose touch, k? I just need a little distance so I don't waste anymore time crying on the sofa over my stupid laptop.

  Odrade
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  Elsewhere

  Just make sure you don't do a catholic style "time out"! (Kneeling in the corner on a hard floor sprinkled with rice)
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  Dawn

  (((Odrade)))

  This board is just like any social group - there are times when we need to "alone time", a chance to sort through our feelings and recharge ourselves. I'm sure everyone will understand and we look forward to welcoming you back when you're ready.
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  Valis

  Odrade, come back to us when you feel you can. I enjoyed our exchange of PMs and consider you a great value to the forum.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
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  Big Tex

  Take as much time as you need Odrade, just know that you are a valued member of this board.
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  Mulan

  No no no! Don't go.
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  seeitallclearlynow

  It's understandable Odrade. I for one will miss your sensible, well thought out comments - I rarely miss your posts - but when you need a break, you need one! Hopefully you'll get all your pressing business taken care of and your feelings sorted out in short order and come back to us soon.
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  Fleur

  Do whatever you need to do to feel better, kiddo. We all get there sometimes.

  Just feel better, take GOOD care of yourself and post when you feel up to it! I agree with you...the internet ain't worth crying over. Not those kinds of tears, anyway...feel better!

  hugs

  essie
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  Swan

  Dear Odrade;

  Perhaps you remember me from the party at Craig and Katie's place. Do what you need to, but remember we are here to listen. Often people on this board get upset over little things that, when we look back with our 20/20 hindsight, are clearly small potatoes. I often chalk it up to a combination of:

  1. Misdirected Anger (often our righteous indignation at the JW experience spills over onto this board)
  2. The Medium (even with emoticons the inflection, body language, and other nuances of face-to-face conversation get lost in the printed word)
  3. Growing Pains (Many of us grew up in the world, but we were no part of it. We lost a vital part of our childhood development. Now we are having to learn to be exJW at a very late age).
  4. The Expectation That We Are Family (Due to our shared experiences we may like to think so, but it was a pipe dream in the JWs, and it is a pipe dream we tend to hold onto).

  There may be other reasons, but I see these as the biggies.

  I don't know what is going on with me right now emotionally, maybe just another step in the process, ...

  Well, gee, lemme think...

  Your husband and his father just had a long discussion about they see as your "falling away from the Truth." Your parents are concerned about your spirituality for the same reason. It looks like your plan to fade is rapidly evaporating. Shunning is on the horizon. Some people here can seem like they could care less about what you are going through. Even though you know that there are great people who care very much about you and are concerned about your difficulties, you sometimes feel like you are all alone in facing what's ahead. You may be losing your whole family, but the people here sometimes seem like a poor substitute for what you may be giving up. And to top it all off, it's the holidays.

  You have a lot on your plate, girl!

  Taking a break is good. I will go away a bit, then come back, go away, come back. I have been through the same issues. It's not easy. This form of communication can seem so stark; just dots of light on a phosphor screen. Sometimes you need it, sometimes you don't need any of it.

  But we will be here to listen when you feel ready.

  Email or call if you need to. I'll send you my 411 in case you have misplaced it.

  Tammy
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  Sunnygal41

  (Sunnygal, after reading Odrade's post, stomps over and picks a branch off the ground and goes out to find FD and Fleaman to beat on)

  (((Sweetie))) I wish I felt as badly as you about the times I go off here on this board, especially lately............LOL........maybe it's just SAD.......know what I mean? So, do what ya feel ya gotta do, then hurry up and get your butt back here!

  Terri