More recently,...probably since my son was born I am feeling very depressed and just high strung. I want to go back to the meetings and become a full time witness again
Welcome to the board! It sounds like you are experiencing post-partum depression.... Becoming a JW will not help you, talking to your doctor about it will...
As someone else said, the JW way of life is a horrible way for children to be raised. 5 meetings a week, hours and hours sitting in the Kingdom Hall, not allowed to move or do anything beside listening to boring talks.... yes they are very boring to kids, and many adults too... not allowed to participate in all fun school activities, not allowed to have friends who are not JWs... no Christmas, no Thanksgiving, no Halloween, no Mother's day... etc... then later strongly discouraged to go to College, but encouraged to become a full-time magazine peddler for the Watch Tower Society... and what about the blood issue? Would you obey the Watch Tower directives of rather let your child die than saving him by giving him a blood transfusion?
Read Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz, talk to your doctor about Postpartum depression, take it easy, a baby is a lot of work and mothers often forget to take care of themselves first....
Take care, and my best wishes.