I haven't had a drop of alcohol in a week...

by logansrun 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    Bet you never knew I was a problem drinker, huh? Well, it's true. No, I'm not an alcoholic but I have been drinking too much and too frequently. It all started at the Green Mill when I turned 21...

    ...a few of us young and hip brothers and sisters went to hear some jazz and get some cocktails at the Green Mill on Chicago's north side. It's a swanky place that used to be one of Al Capone's old haunts. I remember my first drink ever, a whisky-stoned-sour. I hated it. As a matter of fact, I haven't had one of those since. But then my friend Roger -- a ministerial servant who looks and acts like Han Solo -- bought me a Cosmopolitian. I'm not sure if Sex and the City, which famous-ized the drink, was on t.v. then (1997) but this Cosmo was a hit...with me! Served in one of those big-ass martini glasses, sexy pink fluid filled to the brim so that you practically had to sip it on the table a little lest you pick it up and spill it's heavenly content. I've had a fondness ever since.

    My young and hip group of pioneers and ministerial servants from around Chicagoland -- at one point our click included a young, single Circuit Overseer who is the "worldliest" C.O. I've ever met -- continued it's mixology for the next few years. Those were good times. We were cool and so were the drinks.

    Fast forward to 2000. I start to have serious doubts about the dubs. A depression loomed. I move away from this group (many of whom were getting married and "settling down" anyways) and continue to drink, now alone with books about evolution and biblical criticism in the daytime. I remember sipping a margarita on a hot summers day in my backyard reading Will Durant's "The Lessons of History" and reading a line that has forever burned itself into my memory: "Christ killed Jehovah." Yes! The Old-Testament God is a noxious, foreskin-loving son-of-a-bitch! Too primitive! It's all bullshit! Then I'd feel regret. "What if it is the truth?" I'd drink some more.

    I remember sitting on my leather sofa with a cosmopolitan in hand pondering The Unthinkable Reality That This Isn't The Truth and the consequences it would have for my life. What the hell was I going to do? I drank two very, very lightly colored cosmo's (you know what that means...not much cranberry juice/lot's of Stolichnaya!) within ten minutes of each other and the room was spinning out of control (like my life, of course). I lied down and closed my eyes. The room was still spinning! Holy shit! Alas, after about an hour, it passed.

    This continued for some time. Then I left the dubs. My drinking continued, but never, ever in the daytime anymore. I would say I've only been drunk about three or four times in my life. I've never thrown up after drinkinging and I've only had a couple serious hangovers. I've never, ever felt the need to "sweeten my coffee" as some call it. I've never had the shakes. I've never had any interpersonal / academic / career problems due to drinking.

    But, it's still not good! So, in all of this, I have decided to stop for a while. Thirty days, minimum. My record is a week, which I have done a number of times. Which I have done for this week. No real problems. Just need to keep busy in the evening when my mind invariably thinks about Dr. Jack Daniels or Mrs. Sapphire -- Mrs. Bombay Sapphire.

    So yes, my goal is a month without a drop. After that, we'll see. Perhaps I can drink occassionaly. In the meantime, this thread will be one in which I chart some of my progress (hope you don't mind!) and reflect on my dry month (which will include a dry New Years!).

    Sipping my coffee,

    Bradley

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    Good for you!

    You simply need to do what is best for you. Best wishes.

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool

    I went through depression last year because of my exit from the cult and it's effect on my family, and I drank quite a bit. It got to the point where I couldn't sleep without alcohol. I'm over that now, and I still enjoy the occasional drink or two, but have no desire to get drunk or buzzed anymore.

    Walter

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Powerful Story Bradley. I hope you reach your mark. And even if you don't, Your honesty is appreciated. Really interesting credits.

  • Country_Woman
    Country_Woman

    Reading only the topic-subkject, I did'nt know if I had to pity you, or congratulate you.

    Reading the whole post: Good for you.

  • BrendaCloutier
    BrendaCloutier

    Brad, good for you for taking care of yourself.

    Are you an alki or not? That's always a loaded question. One only you and/or your doctor can really answer. Me, I am. I inherited it. My body doesn't process alcohol normally, just as a diabetic doesnt' process sugar normally. Both alcoholism and diabetes are often (but not always) genetic.

    30 serious days is a good start. I bet at least once you find yourself in the booze aisle (beer, wine, whatever) of your grocery store just staring... and you didn't know exactly how you got there.... Make it a point of when you walk into the store of IDing the booze aisle, and walk the other way - even if what you want is that direction. You;ll get a little more exercise.

    As in AA, one day at a time. Sometimes it's one hour at a time. And remember, there are OTHER THINGS TO DRINK! Believe it or not! Coffee, tea, sodapop, milk, club soda, tonic water (without the gin), and, ohmygawd, water. My favorite party drink is the No-Tell-Cocktail.... Orange juice, club soda, and a couple dashes of bitters.

    Good luck to you. If you feel you want to or need to you can PM me or email me at blcloutier at yahoo dot com. I won't thump ya, as it's entirely up to you.

    Bren

  • drwtsn32
    drwtsn32

    Cosmopolitans? Not bad... Kamikazes are better! I had five of them Saturday night. :-O

  • BrendaCloutier
    BrendaCloutier

    PS I always got too drunk too fast on booze, so I mostly just drank beer and wine. Daily. To excess. After 5 pm. Almost (rarely but almost) never in the morning or at lunch, except maybe lunch on a weekend. I even would be careful how much I drank the night before racing (sailboats) so I could function efficiently. I'd not drink on the boat because I didn't like how it interfered with my abilities. That is until we crossed the finnish line. Then all bets were off.

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon

    Alcohol isn't my poison. I may have few beers every night or some wine but can drink when I like. I have reasonable tolerance, and never 'feel like a drink'. I did have one week in my first year at Uni where I drank about 60-80 units of alcohol. I got so freaked by waking up and feeling like I wanted a drink I knoced it on the head for weeks.

    Until I lived in Holland I rarely had booze in the house unles friedns were coming to eat, in which case I'd have some wine.

    I smoke pot like a bastard though. 8-)-~

    But if I go away (i.e. to a country where I can't walk around the corner and buy some in a shop like I can do here) I don;t jones at all. It's just if there IS pot in the house I WILL smoke it. If there isn't and it's not easy to get I just don't bother nor am I particulary bothered. I didn't even smoke a tobbaco for three weeks when I was on holiday this year and didn't suffer withdrawl from that.

    After about three days without pot I start remembering dreams again. Man, I'm glad I smoke pot regulary enough not to remember dreams. That shit is freaky.

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    Oh shit, I just had a beer!

    Just kidding. :)

    Brenda,

    Nice thoughts. From all I've read I am not an alcoholic. Actually, I don't think I'm that abnormal of a drinker for someone my age -- which still isn't good because most people in their 20's drink too much! Not all, just most. Okay, perhaps many.

    Anyway, we'll see how I feel about it after Jan. 14. It could very well be that I decide I can handle the weekend martini or the occassional beer. I just don't want it to be a daily thing.

    If nothing else this month will be an exercise in self-discipline. Carpe diem.

    Bradley

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