by wildfire 13 Replies latest jw friends
((((((((((((((Wildfire))))))))))))))
It takes great courage to step up to the plate like you've done and I'm sure it will open the door of forgiveness from your daughter. What child could not want to mend things when someone is as willing as you are to make things right. I hope you both can come to a resolution and start building on a relationship again. Life is just too short.
There are also some things in your own life that you need to work on if you want to be close to them.
"This sentence really stands out. Why is being close to the grandchildren conditional? This really doesn't make sense."
This was not meant in any way as an attack on Wildfire. If you knew the circumstances (which I'm sure she would not want me to elaborate on here) then you might understand. Sometimes you tend to try to proetect your kids from things you feel might hurt them. Like I said this family has been through hell and they all have "issues". Of course I have issues too. Not throwing stones here. I just feel that the best thing she can do is to step back a little and work on her "issues" and allow her daughters to do the same. Her daughters have been through EVERY sort of abuse for a VERY long period of time. Her oldest was abused until she was 17 years old!
Personally, I love Wildfire and her daughters. They are very special to me. I spent a lot of time with them and I carry a lot of guilt as I was her oldest daughters best friend as teenagers. I knew that something very bad was happening in their house. (although she never told me until Wildfire kicked her husband to the curb) I went to an elder to tell what I did know and saw myself and he told me that he could do nothing unless the family came to him! I was about 15 at the time and told him I wanted to call social sevices. He told me not to as that would bring reproach to Jehovah's name. I was SO FREAKING BRAINWASHED that I did as he said. Nothing....
This thing is just going to take time......
thank you all for your loving concern....and esp YOU KNOW WHO....YES YOU WERE THERE THRU THE DARKEST OF TIMES....and you were a great friend to my daughter...and still are to this day.....I am trying my best to cope and be patient...its so hard to go back and relive all of that ,,just to know I have escaped out of a vicious cult and away from a controlling monster...is quite an accomplishment...but the scars probably will never leave me or my kids..
One day at a time is all Ive got now and I hope to keep on fighting,,again thanks for all your loving concern.....
Wildfire, I hope you get the relationship you want with your family. But you know how things are and that your son in-law may be protecting his children from the possibility of you not protecting them if they were around you. I have a friend who did really try for a relationship with her mother after years of abuse (they aren't JWs) She wanted her kids to know their grandmother. It was a tough situation for her and I saw her pain almost daily. Maybe your daughter needs reassurances of love from you for awhile before she can take the next step. Causing her grief won't help (I think you know that). And by your letter I see how much you love her. Don't let her forget that love and also your patience for her to heal. Sometimes giving those we love the time that they need and patience is the greatest expression of love we show them. I wish the best for you and your family.
