Welcome Aboard, and congratulations on making some steps away from the Watchtower. You said you want to "really live" and I have found in the few months that I've been out of the organization that I have begun to actually live. It's wonderful not having articficial guilt piled on you all the time. "I missed ANOTHER meeting.. I really could've gone, but I didn't.. what a shlep I am..." and so on and so forth. Magazines pile up, staring at you. A pile of paper giving you a guilt trip!
But you're ready to back away from all that. You will feel and enjoy the release, and it feels so good. Depression is huge, I endured it as well, laying in bed for days at a time. I'm sorry you're going through that, and all the other lousiness your life has handed you. The good news is you're making some positive steps to climb up and enjoy your life.
Don't believe that for one minute. KO38 may not judge or take advantage, but be on your guard. There are some damaged souls in here, as in the rest of life.
However, you can exist in anonymity if you choose to, and perhaps find some comfort in that. I'm not one to tell people how to pick up the pieces. I'm only responsible for three people on this planet, and you are not one. Sorry.
I suggest going into the Experiences Forum and seeing that others have survived what you have survived and worse. You will have to make your own way.
I am living proof that life begins at 40. I was just sitting in my living room tonight pondering how I would NEVER have believed that I would be where I am had you asked me 7 years ago. It is truly amazing. Keep searching, asking, listening. The answers will come if you are looking for them. Take one day at a time and don't forget to take care of yourself and enjoy each moment. wonder and enjoyment can be found in even the simplest things-peace, a cup of tea, a good song. Life is meant to be enjoyed-dive in, the water's great!
