Frustration

by Dustin 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  unique1

  but no matter how hard I try and make the feelings of guilt go away they just keep lingering

  What are you guilty of? You did nothing wrong, you got out as soon as you were old enough to realize what it was doing to you. I did the same thing and at about the same age as well. Your parents, I am sure did what they feel was best for you. Obviously you realize it wasn't what was best for you but you were just a kid and did nothing wrong, so don't feel guilty. I ended up seeing a therapist because my anger was getting out of control and I was taking it out on those close to me. The therapist took time to learn about my religion and listened as I explained beliefs that influenced my thinking and upbringing. He really helped me step back and view everything in perspective. A therapist may work for you. Also you can go to meetup.com and see if there is an Ex-JW meetup in your area. We have one every month in my area. The meet-ups will help you find people who do understand what you are going through.

  Good Luck on your journey. Time heals all wounds.
• 

  franklin J

  Hi Dustin,

  Welcome to the forum. I hear you loud and clear; having gone through the same scenario you describe in your post. I was also raised in the faith from infancy and left at about age 25. That was 23 years ago. I suffered from much frustration and depression as a result.

  What I suggest you do is to see a competent therapist to help you work through this process and rebuild your life. No one should have to go through this alone when there are so many professional who CAN help you. It worked for me and I have never regretted my decision. I look back over the years and I realize that I have come a very long way from those days.....it does take time, effort; and a willingness to let that part of your life go....

  Continue to post on this forum; it is a caring; supportive group of individuals who DO understand what you are up against. We all listen and understand....

  Good luck, Frank
• 

  Winston Smith :>D

  I wanted to play sports, go to prom, party a little, sing in a rock band, have friends to reunite with. These are all things I see other people do, and it frustrates me that my whole youth was consumed by this religion.
  

  I keep trying, but no matter how hard I try and make the feelings of guilt go away they just keep lingering.

  Some of these things nag at me as well.

  I see my brothers who never bought into the cult promises hook, line and sinker like I did, and they now have friends from Grade School. One just got married and he had a handful of grade school friends in his wedding party. They had a bunch of stories to share from the time they were growing up. Kinda hurt listening to that. I'll NEVER have that. It's gone, FOREVER.

  But I do have the rest of my life to live. Just applied to UWM for architecture, yesterday. IMO, I'm young and have alot of living to do yet. I have a hightened appreciation of the brief but preciousness of life. Maybe that appreciation would never have been, if it weren't for the 'hard time' served in the cult.

  I'm in Milwaukee, WI. Email me if you want to talk, the addy is on my profile.

  Best,

  Paul [Winston]
• 

  seven006

  Dustin,

  You're 27 years old, your life isn't over. I was raised in the religion like you and left when I was 28. Iv been out for 22 years and have had one hell of a life in that amount of time. You have a lot of time to learn things, experience things and figure out who the hell you really are. Except for playing for an NBA team Iv done just about anything I ever wanted to do including singing for a rock band (small band, short amount of time).

  The JW stuff will always be with you and will still influence things in your life for a while. Identify what they are, put it into perspective, and try to put them in a little memory box in your head and file it away under "old life." When you see your thinking being influenced by it's programing, realize it for what it is and then ask yourself, how do I really feel? It's pretty amazing (some times a bit scary) when you begin to think for yourself.

  Try to limit the stupid stuff you are going to do and write it off to inexperience and unfamiliarity with real life. You will do some stupid stuff, we all have. There is no guide book for starting over. Most of us have made it up as we went along. Figuring it all out and making some mistakes on your own is a lot better than living a programed and manipulated life.

  If you want to see where you stand with god or even try to figure out if there is one, start doing some reading. Both pro and con. You'll fined some answers somewhere in the middle. You will also find a lot of people on this board with their own opinions about god. Do the same thing, listen to both side and them find your own thoughts some where in the middle. When it comes to all the god stuff, their are only belief's, and very few absolutes.

  As far as becoming normal? That one always cracks me up. When you figure out what normal is, write a book and let the rest of us as well as the rest of world know. You'll make millions.

  Take care and hang in there.

  Dave